For My Lady Friends…

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To remind yourself when you’re dating an idiot and you forget you deserve better. Excuse the font inconsistency.

1. Thou Shall Not Date a Man That Never Calls You.

-Think about it, ladies. If he doesn’t care enough to see how you’re doing, he doesn’t care enough to date you. He’s not too shy, or too busy, or too anything. He’s not interested.

2. Thou Shall Not Date a Man That Only Calls You After 10PM.

-We all know what this means. Hooking up with him on his terms will not make him anymore likely to date you, no matter how much you think it will.

3. Thou Shall Not Date a Man Who Is Unable to Communicate.

-You’re just going to get frustrated and assume a lot. You don’t want to date a caveman, do you?

4. Thou Shall Not Date a Man Who Doesn’t Ask How You Are.

-That’s just rude. Sounds easy enough, but if a guy can’t peek his head out of his ass to ask about your day, then just shove his head back in and walk away.

5. Thou Shall Not Date a Man Who is Emotionally Unavailable.

-You are not going to fix him. Period. Don’t let it take ten attempts at it to make you realize this (ahem).

6. Thou Shall Not Date a Man Who Tells You in The Beginning That He’s No Good.

-He ain’t kidding.

7. Thou Shall Not Date a Man Without a Job.

-Unless he’s been laid off/quit for noble reasons but this should not exceed three months unless he has the resources to sustain himself, and even then, his unemployment should not exceed a year.

8. Thou Shall Not Date a Man Without a Car.

-Unless his car has been totaled for reasons other than by his own doing, but duration without car should not exceed 3 months.

-Unless you live in Portland, Copenhagen, or any other notable “bike city”.

-Unless you live in NYC

9. Thou Shall Not Date a Mama’s Boy.

-He will take out all his issues on his mother out on you OR you’ll never be good enough like his mama.

10. Thou Shall Not Date a Stoner.

-Unless you’re a stoner too, then I just feel sorry for your future children.

11. Thou Shall Note Date a Musician/Artist/Actor if he is any one of the following:

–Carless

-Jobless

-Mama’s boy

–Stoner

12. Thou Shall Not Date A Felon

-I don’t think I need to explain much here.