Writing

I Left My Stomach in Oregon

I’m sick.
Sicker than dirt.
No, wait.
Sicker than a dog.
I take my first real vacation, well, almost ever, to the Oregon Coast and I get sick exactly two hours after I land in Portland.
Mouth ajar, snot trickling out nose, mumbling intelligible words to my mother.
“What did you just say?!” she barks.
“Slememenemen”, I respond back.

Then after eating at Mo’s about three hours ago, I get cramps.
So right now I’m being a whiny little bitch.
I can’t close my mouth and my stomach sounds like whales mating.
Enjoy these pictures below. I’m too weak to explain fully what they are. First person who figures out what they’re from gets…uh…a coupon for 75 cents f(2) Morningstar frozen food items.

I’ll give you a hint.
It’s something from your childhood (unless you’re an old person).


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12 Comments

  • Reply Polly Syllabick September 22, 2009 at 5:15 am

    You can't be sick. I'M SICK. And mumbling and whining and laying around making my roommates wonder why they agreed to live with a petri dish like me.

    This only solidifies my theory that we are both too awesome for words. And, apparently, diseased, but whatever.

  • Reply Tennyson ee Hemingway September 22, 2009 at 5:38 am

    Lot of people are sick at the moment. Not me though, I'm way tough.

  • Reply ash.lin. September 22, 2009 at 11:15 am

    i dont mean to laugh but, 'mouth ajar, snot trickling out nose, mumbling intelligible words to my mother.' paints a truly beautiful photo in my mind.
    get well soon- otherwise ill have no witty blog to read.

  • Reply Hannah Miet September 22, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    "My stomach sounds like whales mating." Hilarious. I am sorry you're sick. I hope you have a speed racer-y recovery.

    I don't have the winning answer, but I wish I did. I'm addicted to those Morningstar fake chicken nugget things. Gross, I know.

    I haven't been to Oregon since I was 2. My aunt lives there. My next road trip destination.

  • Reply mysterg September 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    Hey you guys! These are all locations from The Goonies!

    That was an easy one. If I've won I donate my prize to Hannah to feed her addiction. Because that's how I roll.

    Feel better soon doll x

  • Reply Hannah Miet September 22, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    HOW did I not get that?!

    Thanks, Mysterg. You rule.

    Also, Hisptercrite, I didn't need another reason to love you.

  • Reply Hipstercrite September 22, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Thanks for the well wishes everyone! It means a lot. My snot is going from clear to yellow today, so I'm not sure if that's a good or bad sign. Mysterg- congratulations. I'm sure I have an extra coupon lying around and will send one to both you and Hannah.

  • Reply Allie September 22, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    Is it the house from the Goonies?? If that is right, man, I don't know how my brain recognized that one from so far back!

  • Reply Allie September 22, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    Oh wait- someone already guessed the house from the Goonies – no Morningstar Farms coupon for me 🙁

    And I'm sorry you are sick. If it makes you feel better, I am also enduring the "sounds of whales mating" emanating from my stomach. It might have something to do with the cookie dough I made last night with the intention of baking cookies – but ended up eating raw…

  • Reply Dan. September 22, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    Sorry you are ill my friendly, but kudos on the photos. I only watched that film the other day. Looks like a beautiful place to visit.

  • Reply Taul Paul September 23, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    You want your snot to be clear! Yellow or green means infection!

  • Reply Angie September 23, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    Gooooonies! Love it!

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