Ever since I’ve started writing semi-regularly, I feel like I’ve gotten super weird.
Like I’ve lost all ability to socialize with other human beings and I just find myself standing crosseyed and painless in the world- as David Byrne would say. I look like I’m staring at a giant naked man disco dancing on top of yo’ head while you’re talking to me. Half the time I’m floating off into space with my lamé rocket suit because I’m thinking about what to write that day. I’m always thinking about what to write. The other half of the time I look like someone slapped me upside the head because I’m trying to find the words to say. Talking in your head a lot and regurgitating those words onto a keyboard, then constantly reediting those words and when you don’t like those words going to an online thesaurus to change them, makes for awkward fun time when you finally open your mouth in public.
“Grmerph!”
While someone is talking to me I begin a sentence only to find myself stopping because I’m trying to look for a larger and more sophisticated word to say. Low and behold I have no online resource to turn to during times of linguistic desperation.
I’ve finally become your bitch, blog. You wholly succeeded. I’ve fought and I’ve fought but you finally did me in. Much like that creepy English surgeon who holds Sherilyn Fenn hostage in Boxing Helena, you’ve taken away my metaphorical limbs, blog…and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I’m not really sure what that means, but it seemed like the right thing to say.
Sigh…I hope I don’t turn to drinking…
Hopefully one day I’ll just spontaneously bust into break dancing at my desk like this guy when the overload gets too much…
Talking Heads – Crosseyed and Painless from user22201 on Vimeo.
7 Comments
I’m about to go on a man-date and was thinking about this exact same thing.
i feel exactly the same way. i write a lot of copy at work in addition to trying to write my blog and journal – lofty shiz, i say. but yeah, feel like i can’t even interact with other humans. if it gets me fired, i know i’m probably on the right track to being wholly weird. i’m hopeful.
love the new blog, btw. wp wins.
I used to think that I was becoming more social and less of a writer. Now I feel like it’s more that I lost interest in my particular blog. I never thought that writing could be more satisfying than IRL interaction- I kinda used to use writing as a replacement for it whenever I had less people to talk to. But now I’m realizing that writing still sometimes is more satisfying than “real” interaction, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.
I have my ups and downs with socializing and being a complete hermit. I’d say lately I’ve definitely been more of a hermit. Being in my head all the time isn’t healthy though.
PS great title. I love the bluntness and truthfulness of it.
Thanks. It does!
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