This stretch of road never changes, only I do. Every twist and turn and is the same and will be for hundreds of years. Only I will go away.
All the times I made this drive, I never could have guessed what the future held for me. Now I’m here and all I can think about is the past. The future is now and and it’s better than it was back then. Cold, monotonous journeys back and forth through towns that I would run away from, seeing a young boy that I will never see again, and a lifestyle that was not for me.
We had no idea what would happen over the past ten years.
We had no idea that Josh would get into a car accident 12 months ago and die and come back. The months of being in a coma, rehabilitation. I was mentally preparing myself on the drive to his house yesterday, preparing for the changes I would see. The new Josh. Telling myself not to cry. When I saw him, there was no reason to mourn. Though life is more challenging for him now he only has optimism. He’s so far ahead than anyone could have dreamed of and I have no doubt that he’ll achieve every goal he has for himself.
And now there is a little one. Dan and Lindsay have a little one and she is brilliant and adorable. Watching her excitement and wonderment makes me long for our own. Instead we worry.
My childhood bedroom is gone.
I accidentally deleted all my contacts out of my phone yesterday.
pictures from home
4 Comments
[hugs] I think the biggest sense of loss is not place, but time. xx
Thank you, Carrie! I agree.
So beautifully written. I love the opening, I felt like I was starting a beautiful novel.
Best of wishes to your friend, and to you!
Thank you so much, Caroline!