Top Ten Reasons I’m Excited H&M is Opening in Austin

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Holy Mother of God! H&M is opening in Austin this Saturday 11/17 at The Domain.

Here are the top ten reasons why I’m so f’ing excited:

1.) Located at The Domain, we will be as far away from the “F1 people” as possible.

 2.) I can finally feel good about my tax money going towards the construction of the monstrosity known as The Domain.

3.) I can stop feeling culturally inferior to my friends in NYC and LA.

4.) Since H&M will be located closer to the Ikea in Round Rock, we can propose to the city that we have an annual “Happy Swedish Products in America Day” and take the day off to get lost in both stores.

5.) We no longer have to start hyperventilating when we come across a rare, used H&M clothing item at one of Austin’s thrift or vintage stores.

6.) With over 24,000 square feet and two stories of retail space, it will be easier for me to hide behind a row of clothing and get locked in the store overnight.

 7.) We no longer have to carry an extra empty suitcase when we travel to New York or LA.

8.) *Once Trader Joe’s and In-n-Out Burger open, the process of turning Austin into a major metropolitan city will be complete and we can become walking contradictions who both shop at these places and complain about how we miss “the old Austin”.

9.) I can wear this winning combination:

 10.) I can stand in line for 12+ hours while I wait for the store to open and take a good long look at myself in the store window and wonder how I’ve gotten to this point.

 

* I’m not necessarily excited about #8