A couple of months back, I posted a survey asking moms and dads why they had children. The survey stemmed from my own confusion and stress as to whether or not I, an early thirty-something, should pump out the babies.
With the survey, I had hoped that by “crowdsourcing” my dilemma, I could receive insight into “the right answer.”
Well, I didn’t.
And I knew I wasn’t going to.
Having children is personal and unique to all of us, and no one can tell you whether it’s right for you. However, the survey did inform me with anonymous information on the sleeping habits, sex lives and anxiety levels of many parents, which proved to be both fascinating and terrifying. You can read the results to that survey here.
A handful of non-parents commented that I should do a reverse survey: Why didn’t you have children?
What makes a person decide not to have children? Is it by choice? Is it by circumstance? And if it was by choice, is that non-parent ok with that choice?
Fertility rates in the U.S. are dropping, with cable TV, economic decline and career advancement being suspects as to why. The reality is, more and more people are deciding not to have children, but has society learned to be ok with that?
If you’ve decided to have children, please take this survey. I, and many others, would love to hear from you regarding your choice, how you react to society’s inquisition and your personal habits as a non-parent. All answers are collected anonymously, and I’ve added an “other” option so you can explain a different answer that the ones I offered. Please feel free to share your insights in the comments section below as well.
(For those of you who cannot see the survey below, here is the link.)
3 Comments
I’ll be interested to read the results! I’m in the same position as you – not quite sold on motherhood, but still feeling that pull towards it. I honestly don’t know which way I’ll tip, but it can’t hurt to hear from others!
Hey, Vanessa! I’m really excited too. 31 people have filled it out so far. I’d love to get to 60 like I did with the previous survey.
I wish it could be multiple choice for the reasons why. Because I think for both those who want/have children and for those who do not want children there’s more than one reason that got them to that point. I’ll list mine because I like hearing myself talk:
As a recovering anorexic I can not even imagine what getting pregnant would do to my mental health
I have Celiac disease which is very much genetic
My mother was not a great mother, she was physically abusive and didn’t do a great job of teaching me how to get along with people (because she herself is an introvert and a loner and is great with that. I am extremely extroverted so alienating people is something I try to not do). But in times of stress I lapse into who my mother raised me to be, I never want to deal with the heartbreak of realizing that I can’t parent better than her.
I have four half sisters on my father’s side. I will have enough nieces and nephews to fill in the gaps.
The world IS going to Hell in a handbasket