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Austin, Film, Pop Culture, Travel, Writing

The Ten Coolest Things That Happened in Austin in 2013

It’s that time of year again- time where everyone makes butt-loads of year-end lists. Considering I have the pop culture-viewing habits of a 68 year-old prisoner in a low-security prison, I’m completely unqualified to create a “best of” list in the fields of film, music or literature. If left to my own devices, my “Top Ten Films of 2013!!!” list would consist solely of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. I’m completely out of touch and I’m OK with that. I’M OK WITH THAT.

The one thing I know a little about is Austin. I write about this vibrant city often, and I try to stay on top of what’s going on. So that got me thinking: what if I created a list of the coolest things that happened in Austin in 2013? After that thought, I had a subsequent thought about brie cheese.

Here is my list of some of the most awesome, inspiring and breathtaking events that happened in our city. If I’ve forgotten anything, please let me know in the comments!

(photo cred: me)

1.) Austinites came together to fight (more…)

December 13, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin, Hipstercrite Life, Travel

Thanksgiving 2013: The Time We Got Lost on Death Mountain a.k.a. Enchanted Rock

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Our Thanksgiving involved us getting lost in the woods, narrowly escaping an attack from a porcupine and my boyfriend turning 40 and then promptly falling down and breaking his rib. Because that’s what you do when you turn 40.

Geoff wanted to celebrate this rite of passage by climbing Enchanted Rock. For those of you who are not from Texas, Enchanted Rock is neither enchanted nor a rock. It’s a small, bald mountain in the middle of the countryside that boasts an impressive view of…the countryside. The word “enchanted” implies that there is magic on top of that rock, and though the area is deeply rooted in Native American lore, I did not see any goddamn magic performed on top of that small, bald mount. I would like to petition that Enchanted Rock be renamed, “Gigantic, foliage-impaired land mass”.

See here:

This picture is a little misleading. This makes Enchanted Rock and the area around it look pleasant, but don’t be fooled. It’s (more…)

December 4, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin, Hipstercrite Life

I May Hate Its Politics, But I Love Living in Texas

Me drinking a High Life at one of my favorite places- Texas Chili Parlor

It’s been a both a challenging and inspirational year for forward-thinking Texans.

As many of us continue to watch the ongoing HB2 saga unfold, we often feel confused in our emotions for our home state.

How can this wonderful and unique state have such ass-backwards politics?

How can a state that Molly Ivins, Jim Hightower and Wendy Davis calls/called home be so punishing? So foolish?

Sadly, many of our politicians only propel the outsider’s myth that the entire state is full of idiots and hillbillies. While Ted Cruz was busy being the ACA’s cock-block, many of my friends from elsewhere in the world posted social media updates saying they would rather die than live in a state like Texas. This sentiment broke my heart for if anyone who has lived in or spent time in Texas will know, it has been and will continue to be filled with many innovative and inspiring individuals. I feel a guttural urge to (more…)

November 7, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin, Hipstercrite Life

Happy National Feral Cat Day!

source (modified)

It’s National Feral Cat Day!

You know what that means, right?

Find yourself a feral cat, throw a piece of cake at it and run.

Since I work from home, ~~I’VE BEGUN LOSING MY MIND~~ I spend a lot of time talking to and getting to know the feral cats in our neighborhood. They tell me their secrets.

And there are a lot of them (cats, not secrets).

There’s Zorro, Fatface, Baby Momma, Fake Dee, Gray Kitty, Gray Tomcat, Blackie (we’re very creative with names) and a slew of others that ~~stick their kitty pecpees in the kitty vajayjays and then leave~~ come and go.

If the cats didn’t run away in terror every time I came near them, then I would have individual pictures for all of them.

The only pics I have are of Zorro because he’s semi-blind and doesn’t know when I creep up on him from behind (he also looks like Grumpy Cat) and a group shot of Zorro, Fake Dee and Gray Kitty hanging out. They like to sleep in groups, with Zorro often acting as elder statesman of (more…)

October 16, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin

What Your Life in Austin Will Be Like

So, you’re thinking of moving to Austin, right?

Welcome to the club.

It’s estimated that 115 people move to Austin each day, with the majority of non-Texans moving in from California– LA area, to be exact.

You’re probably moving to Austin to leave behind the rat race of LA or NYC, looking to calm your head and to search for a simpler life that still offers opportunity and cultural diversity.

You never could have imagined moving to Texas with its cowboy boot-wearing conservative leaders and 1950s ideology on women and minorities, but here you are, desperately wanting to move to the capital city of the Lone Star State. Years ago your friends would have laughed at you, but now they ask if they can join along for the ride.

Maybe you’ve visited Austin before during one of its major festivals like SXSW or ACL, or maybe you’ve never been. Maybe you’ve been reading all about this wonderous land from the plethora of top ten lists it’s featured in.

At this very second, you’re (more…)

October 8, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin, Travel

Foodie Tour of Austin Restaurants Featured on Reality TV

It should come as no surprise that Austin has been on a butt-load of reality TV shows. Why is it not a surprise? Because Austin is currently America’s shiny ball that they like to poke, play with and stare at.

Many of those aforementioned reality shows are food-based. The culinary scene in Austin has grown by leaps and bounds in the past several years. Having moved here from California (let the name-calling begin), I was initially disappointed in what I felt was a lackluster food scene in Austin. Fast-forward five years later and Austin is on the top of the list of American food destinations. Austin’s very own Paul Qui won Top Chef two years back and our beloved Franklin BBQ was named the best BBQ in America by Bon Appetit Magazine. Austin is full of incredible culinary talent and it’s a fantastic place to be a foodie in right now.

I use to work at a local restaurant that was featured on a popular Travel Channel show and based off the influx of traffic the restaurant received, you (more…)

September 9, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin, Travel

Tubing in East Austin: Where Small Children Find Stabbing Knives

I live with a toober, a person obsessed with tubing in Texas. Every chance Geoff gets to go tubing, he will take it. Even drifting into a snake ball hasn’t stopped him from floating. He has tubing regalia: an adorably gay mesh tee, cherished cut-off denim shorts, water shoes, and koozie with a neck string. His affection for tubing exceeds that of many of us and like a small, adventuresome child, Geoff often finds himself excitedly planning tubing trips without the support of others. Until recently, the most worthwhile tubing was at least 30 miles away from Austin and required a lot of pre-planning and flaking out on friend’s parts.

That is why we were extrememly excited to discover that tubing in East Austin was suddenly a thing. I guess it had always been a thing, but with the opening of East Austin Tubes, at least we know it’s legal. I think? We had been patrons of the Extremely Public Beach (previously known as the Secret Beach) and always wondered what tubing through the area (more…)

July 29, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin, Pop Culture

Activism Can Work: Let’s Show Rick Perry What Texas Women Really Want

photo via Daily Kos

Shortly after I left my career in Hollywood, I worked at a very well-known and “vibrant” anti-war non-profit organization. Feeling as though I had not helped the future of mankind in any way while working in the film business, I wanted to “make a difference”.

The organization I worked for was famous for their very vocal protests which often led them to being on the news… and the butt of many jokes. We were guided by intelligent women who honed their activism skills in the ’60s; these women were, and still are, tough, passionate and to the point.

After being threatened multiple times and part of protests that seemed to go nowhere, I became disillusioned with active activism. I realized my passion for what they were fighting for was not the same (though I’m anti-war, I began thinking that the power of anti-war activism of the ’60s is very different today).

So for the past few years, I’ve mostly been a slacker activist. I never kidded myself that (more…)

June 27, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Austin, Pop Culture

The Night I Played Bingo For the First Time and Realized I Was a Giant Pussy

Guys, I played grownup bingo for the first time yesterday and it hurt.

Grownup bingo is not for pussies, but as I learned yesterday, I’m one giant pussy.

It takes a brave man or woman to sit in such a high-stress environment surrounded by dialogue boxes of smoke and florescent lights loaned from UT’s football stadium.

If you’re unfamiliar with how grownup bingo works, I will give you the lowdown. I’m going to give you the lowdown through the eyes of a 7 year-old because that’s how I felt yesterday (and I’m feeling lazy today): we were in this BIG pink room in parking lot near the highway and there were all these tables filled with people smoking cigarettes with these big, metal balloons next to them (the 29 year-old in me will translate that to “oxygen tanks”). We bought bingo sheets and some of us even bought these little computer thingies that help you mark your bingo cards. I bought a bingo marker with a shiny blue top! I also bought two bingo sheets which meant I had to (more…)

May 17, 2013 by hipstercrite

Austin, Travel

*The Day I Drank a Bud Light Lime-a-Rita and Wrestled a Snake

We happened upon a snake ball yesterday.

It’s not as cool as it sounds.

Before yesterday, I always thought a snake ball is when prepubescent male snakes put on their bow ties, ask to borrow their ‘rent’s Caddy and impress the female snakes with their dance moves learned from watching Michael Jackson clips on Youtube (at least that’s what I would do if I was a male snake).

A snake ball is exactly what was described above, but without the clip-on ties or awkward Thriller arm-waving that looks more like Alien Hand Syndrome.

A snake ball is when an ASS-LOAD OF SNAKES crowd around a female and try to get it on with her.

A snake ball is something that makes me nearly poop myself and become a dead weight that my friends have to drag around until I understand that the snakes are a.) not interested in biting us and b.) would have difficulty biting us in the water even if they wanted to bite us.

We were tubing on the Guadalupe River in Gruene, Texas. I’ve written about (more…)

April 29, 2013 by hipstercrite

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