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The Time I Almost Got Punched by a Woman Wearing A Shirt That Said "I Have Issues"

 I had completely forgotten about the above statement until today, when I was online chatting with my friend Ian. Ian and I were on a reality show together and one of the characters on that show was the producer Robert Evans. If you’ve never seen it, check out the doc THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE. It is an adaptation of  Evans’ autobiography of the same name. Evans was and is a colorful character, having epitomized Hollywood cool in the 1970’s (he was married to Ali MacGraw, friends with Jack Nicholson and produced THE GODFATHER, CHINATOWN, and ROSEMARY’S BABY) and Hollywood down-and-out in the 1980’s (he was convicted of trying to buy cocaine and linked to the murder of an investor).

So here is a little backstory…
I was a featured player on a barely known TLC reality series called “Going Hollywood”. The show chronicled the day-to-day adventures of three fresh-off-the-bus interns working at Robert Evans’, Method Man’s, and my boss’ respective production companies. My (more…)
January 4, 2011 by
Writing

The Best Blog Posts of 2010

Hot damn. I can’t believe this year is over.

It was an eventful year, to say the least.

I was let go of one job, immediately found work at another job, and then left that job for a job in publishing. The artist/dreamer side of me should have taken THAT FREAKIN’ UNEMPLOYMENT, but being raised the way I was and the current state of the economy, I decided it was best to, you know, be a working adult. I’m excited to see where my new job will take me.

I road tripped through West Texas and New Mexico with my mother. We wanted to strangle each other and at one point I had to take a *pee in the middle of the desert, off the side of the road, in front of everyone driving on the God forsaken New Mexico highway known as I-25. It was a memorable trip full of romantic meth villages and endless horizons.

I was voted Blogger of the Year in Austin and Hipstercrite won the category of “Best Blog to Find Comments or Discussions” over at the Austin Blogger Awards. Though she may try, Hipstercrite (more…)

December 29, 2010 by
Writing

In Times of Creative Block, Act Like Your Idols

When I get stressed out, much like a dudebro drunk on whiskey, inspiration and creativity is not something that comes easily.

In fact, my brain just completely shuts down. During these times, I often find myself standing wide-eyed and dumbfounded when people are talking to me. You may even find me hovering in the grocery store staring at the same three shelves of salad dressings for about fifteen minutes, completely immobile. This may have more to do with the fact that there are now 400 types of salad dressings to chose from when grocery shopping and not a temporary neurological malfunction.

When I begin imitating a mentally challenged person by accident, I try to think of my idols. Having idols is important. Having heroes are important. Having people that you dress up as and fantasize about before going to sleep is important.

I’ve accumulated a lot of idols in my years. Some have left me- Beetlejuice, Elton John circa 1974, Dana Scully. Some have stayed-Woody Allen, Pee-Wee Herman, Frank (more…)

December 20, 2010 by
Writing

This is How We Walk on the Moon

In a whirlwind development, I was offered a much desired job yesterday, which means I have to be on my best behavior on the ol’ blog today. No talking about the time my friend confused me for a homeless person on Venice Beach. No talking about fantasizing over a shirtless picture of Elton John as a thirteen year-old girl. No posting pictures of my butt cheek. No talking about how I like to glue chest hair to my body. Because all those things make me look weird.
Last night my computer became infected with a virus so I was not able to write a post. Please forgive my recycling, but the post below is pertinent to current events in my life.
A project recently fell into my lap that has me calling on an old acquaintance. This acquaintance is a bit of a hermit (you’ll see why below), so I’m in the process of writing him a letter to initiate contact.
The post below was based off a brief nostalgic trigger that occurred in August 2009 of an event that happened in November of 2007.
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December 7, 2010 by
Writing

Hipster Holiday Gift Guide 2010 Pt. 1

It’s that time of year again! That time of year to buy a super ironic gift for the super pretentious someone in your life.
Below are ideas for my friends to give to their super pretentious friend living in Austin, Texas.

1.) This is one of my favorite finds. Artist Mike Oncley created a series of adorable 14 X 11 Annie Hall prints. Line them up on your wall, stare at them really hard and maybe you’ll find your mantra. Etsy $20

2.) So, I didn’t get to go to The Pee-Wee Herman Show in LA or NYC, but that doesn’t mean I’m still not saving myself for PW. What better way to say, “I have zero sex life because I fantasize about cultural icons from my childhood” than a Pee-Wee Herman purity ring?? Pee-Wee Herman Store $20

3.) Let’s just take all the work and originality out of being a photographer and add a fisheye, macro, or wide angle lens to our iPhones? What do you say? Photojojo $20-$40

4.) You know what? I’m sick of seeing mustaches everywhere. Lord knows I love a good mustache like any other (more…)

December 5, 2010 by
Writing

Austin Loves The F Out Of Blogging

It comes as no surprise to me that Austin, Texas is the top city for blogging. I learned this the other day while reading UT student Brittney Simmons’ article about local Austin blogs. I know for one that my blog would not be where it is today without the support of other Austin bloggers. The blogging community here is unlike anything I have ever experienced. We give out awards! We have parties! We write articles about each other! It’s pretty mind-blowing, really. I feel extremely lucky to live in such a creatively supportive city. So deprived was I of genuine human contact in Los Angeles that I still often find myself tearing up over beautiful moments of altruism, kindness, and encouragement that I experience or witness on a daily basis in this wonderful city.

As I mentioned the other day, and which I still can’t believe, Hipstercrite is nominated in three categories at the Austin Blogger Awards. I already follow a good chunk of Austin blogs, but reading the list of nominees introduced (more…)

December 3, 2010 by
Writing

Why Flying is the Most Terrifying Form of Travel EVER!

While flying to and fro New York over Thanksgiving holiday, I was reminded once again of my extreme distaste for aviation travel. So extreme is my dislike, that I’m contemplating driving to anywhere I will go in the future, including across water. One of my goals in life is to design a bubble vehicle that can tread over the Atlantic. If that doesn’t pan out, I’ll just hoverboard over to Greece. It may take a lot of time, but I’m optimistic that I can do it.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed an illogical fear of flying in airplanes. Now don’t tell me that planes are safer than cars. I know that. But try telling me that while strapped to my seat and falling to the ground with you and 289 other people. I’ll gladly get in an argument with you during the roughly two minutes we have before we disintegrate and become one with the Earth.

As you can see, I have a morbid outlook on flying. Before and during a scheduled plane ride, it is difficult for me to not be consumed by a Woody Allen-esque (more…)
December 2, 2010 by
Writing

The Jewish Lovebirds

While I was back home in New York for Thanksgiving, I got myself a handy little Flipcam. I tested the camera out by interviewing my 84 year-old grandmother, Nan, and her 83 year-old boyfriend, Lionel, about their Jewish heritage and how they met. Below are the best segments of our conversation. You will probably notice how much they bring out the worst in each other. In fact, it’s fair to say they down right can’t stand each other. Lionel is, what my grandmother calls, a “Jewish American Prince” and a “nudge”. Lionel has always been the jokester and the teaser and my grandmother, being the prim and proper lady that she is, has become less and less tolerable of his behavior over the years. Lionel is the sort of person while dining with my grandmother in a public restaurant, yell, “Help! Help! This little old lady is trying to grope me!” In fact, Lionel is often kicked out of public places much to my grandmother’s embarrassment. Unfortunately, Lionel’s behavior has become slightly (more…)
December 2, 2010 by
Writing

Austin Blogger Awards & Life on the East Side Ep 4: The Doobs


Well, somehow I managed to get nominated in three categories at the Austin Blogger Awards. I’m very touched and appreciate everyone’s support. To know that people beside my parents actually read my blog gives me the incentive to keep writing and the self-esteem boost needed to feed my fragile, child-like ego.

The lovely folks over at the Republic of Austin have put together this first ever award ceremony that will take place at the Austin Eavesdropper-hosted “Austin Bleet-Up” this Friday, December 3rd 7PM at Whole Foods Rooftop. The Bleet Ups are always a great time and an excellent way to meet people of your own kind and no longer feel like a shut-in.

If you’d like to vote. Please vote here. Hipstercrite has been nominated for the “Blog of the Year”, “Blogger of the Year”, and “Best Blog to Find Comments of Discussions” categories. As I promised my friends yesterday, I will make you cookies or canned pickles in return.

Please enjoy my latest episode of “Life on the East Side”. Joy may be (more…)

November 30, 2010 by
Writing

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

I’m back home in New York for the first time in almost a year and so thankful to see my wonderful family.
Lionel and Lucy say Happy Thanksgiving and hope that they can both take off their ridiculous sweaters soon.


November 26, 2010 by