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20-Something, Austin, Film, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

Delusions of Grandeur 2013: What Are Your Big Dreams for the New Year?

2012, my last year of slinging it through my twenties, was a year of many firsts: completed my first movie, advanced my freelance writing career, started the second year of an adult relationship with someone I love and fart in front of,  got a pet cat!…which died two weeks later, met David Duchovny…in his boxer shorts! and had my adopted grandfather move into a home for folks with Alzheimer’s which threw off the emotional balance of my family.

Overall it was a pretty wonderful year, one I will look back on when I’m an old, wrinkly woman and think, “2012 was the best year of my life”  while silently weeping into a pillow.

I recently came across a list I wrote at 12 years of age of predictions for my adult self. The list included: “Make a movie!”, “meet David Duchovny!”, “write a book!” and “meet Elton John!”. It still boggles my mind that two of those have come true considering at 12 years of age I had mighty delusions of grandeur, but maybe I’ve always had that “dream big!” (more…)

December 31, 2012 by
Austin, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

The Art of Being a Lazy Blogger

I’ve been a lazy blogger over the past few weeks, but FUCK!, it was the holidays and the holidays are confusing and disorienting and make you want to live on the couch for a month while gorging yourself with White Chocolate Peppermint Pringles.

What I have not been is a lazy writer and somehow I’ve managed to stumble through my month-long writer’s block and spew out a bunch of stuff.

So, because I’m a lazy blogger this month, I’m going to be super-ass lame and share with you a couple of articles I wrote on other sites, but ones I’m particularly proud of. I hope you enjoy! Regular blogging will resume shortly and I think my first post will be about “moochetarians”, the title given to a person who is vegetarian except when someone gives them free food- then they will eat a pig’s entire face if they have to.

December 28, 2012 by
Pop Culture, Writing

An Open Letter to People Who Flip Off Cameras

source

 

Dear People Who Flip Off  Cameras,

I originally wrote “Dear Douchebags” in my salutation, but didn’t want to seem so bitter. However, that is what you indeed look like, a douchebag, when you flip off the camera.

I’m writing to you today because after viewing the 100th photo of one of your kind flipping off the camera for NO APPARENT REASON on my Facebook feed yesterday, something in me snapped: I began deleting your kind from my friend list. It takes a lot for me to de-friend someone (the only other people I delete are the ones who post about Jesus, IN CAPS, every ten minutes- do you want to fall into the same category as them?), but I got so tired of being flipped off for shits and giggles that I decided to remove any trace of your unnecessary sign language from my vision. Now, of course, because you are the sort of person who likes to flip off the camera, and likes to show the world that you have a laissez-faire attitude towards life, you would respond to my previous (more…)

November 26, 2012 by
Austin, Film, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

Holy Crap! We Made a Movie and It’s Almost Finished!

Last year, I co-wrote and co-produced a movie called Loves Her Gun.

It still seems like a dream that the film even happened.

One day we were coming up with an idea for a movie, the next day we were shooting it. For a month.

And in that time, I don’t think I slept, took a proper bowel movement or tended to my daily needs such as personal hygiene or eating.

Filmmaking is both an exhilarating and exhausting experience.

Guerrilla filmmaking is both those things times TEN MILLION HUNDRED!

Imagine feeding a crew of 30 on no budget (sorry, guys…I’m glad you liked the cream cheese sandwiches though), housing five-ten people in your home, driving an old-school RV half-way across the country in 30 hours, experiencing a devastating wildfire that effected the lives of several of our crew members, working on a movie with your boyfriend and generally feeling like poo-poo that you can’t pay people Hollywood pay because you’re a little movie mostly funded by credit cards.

THAT (more…)

November 8, 2012 by
Fashion/Design, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

What I Wore Today: Election Day Edition

 

Today is Election Day!

The Instagrams has been all aflutter with photos of long voting lines, “I voted stickers” and Election Day outfits today. Even Lena Dunham has implored with us to share our voting ensembles with her. It’s been a very exciting day in the world of social media.

I feel a little left out today. You see, I’m registered in another state and very boringly sent in my absentee ballot a few weeks ago.

Luckily I took a picture so I can share with you my “Sending in My Absentee Ballot Day” outfit with you!

It also happens to be the outfit I’m wearing today (and tomorrow).

What I wore:
Top: a “vintage” baseball t-shirt found at the bottom of a clothing pile in the backyard of American Apparel $0
Bottom: the California Fleece Slim Fit Pant from American Apparel $36
Shoes: Keen flip flops given to me at an event involving popsicles $0
Hair: Hard water and shampoo
Makeup: Bare Essentials, allergies
Mood: Simultaneously proud and defeated. Proud that (more…)

November 6, 2012 by
Austin, Hipstercrite Life, Writing

How to Find Balance in Life

I never thought I would become one of those people.

The kind that forget to breathe, who developed a detestable ability to stare at something with no thought coming to mind.

A person who forgets to see the wonder in the world.

Blaming a career built around the Internet would probably be fair, but it’s my duty to keep it in check.

It’s my job to put up barriers and it’s my job to crawl outside of my head day in and day out.

Yesterday I happened upon an anole.

He surprised me by appearing on my chair.

Lizards are very common in Austin, and we find them in our house quite often. Typically they are no bigger than an inch; their underage bodies a translucent peach, a window to their blood-pumping veins.

However, this one was different.

He was big.

Full grown and curious.

When typically an anole will run with all its might in the opposite direction of my looming presence, this one stayed put. His blinking eyes studying me.

And I studied him.

For a long time.

And (more…)

November 2, 2012 by
Film, Pop Culture, Writing

How to Make the Best Kickstarter Campaign There Ever Was

Last year I co-wrote and co-produced a film called Loves Her Gun.

Hallelujahohmygod, the film is finally finished minus a few sound and color correct tweaks.

Making a movie is both an exhilarating and diarrhea-inducing experience. Everything from writing the script, shooting the film, editing and submitting to festivals is one giant roller coaster of hair loss, laughter, tears and wide-eyed stares.

Geoff and I are currently creating an Indieagogo campaign for post-production costs because we loooooove asking people for money. LOVE IT! There is nothing better than sharing the living shit out of our crowdfuding page asking people to donate to our poor asses. Nothing. It makes us feel the opposite of desperate.

Wanting to make the BEST CROWDFUNDING CAMPAIGN THERE EVER WAS, I researched articles that recommend the best steps in earning your friends’ dough.

Articles will tell you that these steps are most important when creating a crowdfunding page:

1.) Set your goal at $10,000 (more…)

October 22, 2012 by
Hipstercrite Life, Travel, Writing

How to Travel With Your Mother Without Killing Each Other

Just a dead shark on a forklift

MY MOM IS IN TOWN!

That means a lot of quality mom and daughter bonding time, her telling me I should brush my hair and her telling my boyfriend stories about how I don’t share food.

I love my Mom more than anything. I am her only daughter and she solely raised me, so needless to say we’re very much alike. Due to this fact and the fact that we both come from a long lineage of guilt-inducing Jews, we bicker a lot. I went to therapy to nip the guilt tripping trait in the bud, so when my mother, and especially my grandmother, try to pull it on me, I turn into a raving She-Hulk. When you’re little, you don’t know any better; feeling guilty for absolutely nothing was pounded into my soft skull at a very young age. When you’re older, you realize that normal people don’t say things like, “You think I’m stupid!” when you don’t agree with something they say or, “You must not like spending Christmas-” -we’re religiously inadequate Jews- “-with the family anymore!” (more…)

September 27, 2012 by
20-Something, Pop Culture, Writing

Michelle Obama’s DNC Speech Triggered 100 Million Boners

Oh man.

How inspiring was Michelle Obama’s speech at the DNC last night?

Seriously. I’m pretty sure her words instantly cured leprosy and triggered the evolution of dinosaurs coming back to Earth to amicably co-exist with us.

Her speech made me want to strip down to my underwear, give away everything I own and go out into the street and give random hugs to strangers.

While she spoke, it’s as if a spirit entered me. I found myself lifting to my feet  with one hand over my heart and the other waving in the air.

I think today I should find a Baptist church to go to.

I felt it last night and so did a lot of America.

In fact, Americans collectively had a boner for Michelle Obama (and for those who didn’t…we know you have trouble getting it up).

My Twitter and Facebook feeds were filled with gushing comments about the first lady.

It was impossible not to feel emotionally overwhelmed by her flawless and moving speech.

I was going to compile a list of my favorite (more…)

September 5, 2012 by