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Hipstercrite Life

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Do You Suffer From Hypochondria?

flu epidemic of 2013

I’ve been suffering from a disease for quite some time now.  Denial has kept me from acknowledging in, but after much research and soul-searching I’ve finally come to terms with this infliction.

I suffer from hypochondria.

It’s an exhausting ailment that takes a great deal out of me. A large portion of my mental energy is exerted while imagining diseases I could be dying from. There has been the “side cancer” I thought I was battling for the past two months (kidney infection), the blood clot in my arm (pulled muscle), the brain tumor (sinus headaches) and a plethora of other aches and pains that I assume must be life-threatening. If I didn’t have shitty-ass insurance, I’d probably be at the doctor every time my appetite is low (must be scurvy!) or am sleepy (thyroid cancer!). All the little stories I’ve heard and accumulated through the years- the friend of a friend of a friend who didn’t know he had diabetes and almost went into a coma, the film business acquaintance who didn’t (more…)

January 17, 2013 by
Fashion/Design, Hipstercrite Life

Blonde vs. Brunette: The Lifelong Battle of What Color to Dye My Hair

I need your help!

I’d love a hair makeover for the premiere of our film at SXSW this year, but I’m not sure what style and color to go with!

I’m currently blonde, but have a paranoia that my blonde hair is actually a green-orange brassy tone and that makes me look like a crack whore or Sarah Jessica Parker (the next time someone tells me I look like SJP I will PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!)

My natural hair color leans more towards brunette, but it’s more so a mousy gray blob color that deserves to NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY EVER AGAIN!

So my options are: have a professional make my blonde hair look less crack-whorey or dye my hair dark brown.

OH! And should I do bangs?

blonde or brunette

January 15, 2013 by
20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Why I’m Incapable of Touching Other Women

I’ve never been a girly girl.

This is a topic I’ve written about before and one I often battle with. When I see a gaggle of gals giggling and gallivanting with one another (I’ve been practicing my alliteration skills lately), I feel like a sad puppy staring out onto the sidewalk from inside the pet store window while simultaneously throwing up poopy newspaper that I ate from the bottom of the cage.

Having large herds of girlfriends and playing with each other’s hair and going on shopping trips together is something I’d like to do, but physically can’t make myself act on.

Maybe it’s because I’m an only child and am still perplexed at 29  as to how to play well with others or maybe it’s because as a child most adults thought I’d be a future lesbian due to my lack of wanting to dress as Cinderella or Madonna and instead reveled in pretending I was Rod Serling or Groucho Marx. Who the hell wants to be a blonde chick with no decipherable talents? I’d rather be a middle-aged Jewish (more…)

January 9, 2013 by
20-Something, Fashion/Design, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

You Can’t Take a Picture of This; It’s Already Gone

Last Friday, I posted the picture of my grandparents seen below on my Hipstercrite Facebook page. The photo and the story behind it proved to be popular, so I decided to sift through old photographs of my family and post them here.

For reference, the photos include my grandfather and grandmother on my mother’s side, my father, my mother and I. My grandparents divorced in the 1960s and my grandfather died shortly thereafter. My parents divorced in the 1990s and I am their only child. I’m close to all of them and looking at these photos brings me both great joy and sadness that so much time has passed.

We’re all stuck in the past, so oblivious as to what’s to come…

 

 Grandma and Grandpa on their honeymoon, Lake Placid 1945

Grandma, age 19, 1945

 Grandpa during WWII, 1942?

 Grandpa’s work photo, shortly before he died, mid-1960s

Grandma in Mexico, early 1970s

Mom in Mexico, early 1970s

Grandma and Mom in Mexico, early 1970s

 Mom in New Orleans, mid-1970s

Dad, (more…)

January 7, 2013 by
20-Something, Austin, Hipstercrite Life

Are You a Moochetarian?: The Act of Not Eating Meat Unless it is Given to You

The holidays are a challenging time for dietary restrictions. If you don’t eat meat, fish, gluten, dairy or fatty foods, it’s often difficult to avoid eating what you can’t or don’t what to eat. Whether it’s your tightly-budgeted, all-pizza holiday office party or your grandmother calling “veggematarians” “stupid idiots” while cooking a ham hock for the family Christmas dinner, sometimes you just don’t have a choice in what you eat this time of year.

Having stayed in Austin (a town full of health-conscious and animal welfare-conscious hippies open thinkers)  for the holidays and attending several Christmas dinners and parties, the question, “Do you eat meat?” came up frequently. For years now, I’ve felt that the long-winded and convoluted answer I gave people sounded like a crock of horseshit, but I discovered last month that many people have similar diets. I also discovered from my friend Jerm what the name for our kind is:

Moochetarian [moo-cha-tair-ee-un]–a person who does not (more…)

January 3, 2013 by
20-Something, Austin, Film, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

Delusions of Grandeur 2013: What Are Your Big Dreams for the New Year?

2012, my last year of slinging it through my twenties, was a year of many firsts: completed my first movie, advanced my freelance writing career, started the second year of an adult relationship with someone I love and fart in front of,  got a pet cat!…which died two weeks later, met David Duchovny…in his boxer shorts! and had my adopted grandfather move into a home for folks with Alzheimer’s which threw off the emotional balance of my family.

Overall it was a pretty wonderful year, one I will look back on when I’m an old, wrinkly woman and think, “2012 was the best year of my life”  while silently weeping into a pillow.

I recently came across a list I wrote at 12 years of age of predictions for my adult self. The list included: “Make a movie!”, “meet David Duchovny!”, “write a book!” and “meet Elton John!”. It still boggles my mind that two of those have come true considering at 12 years of age I had mighty delusions of grandeur, but maybe I’ve always had that “dream big!” (more…)

December 31, 2012 by
Austin, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

The Art of Being a Lazy Blogger

I’ve been a lazy blogger over the past few weeks, but FUCK!, it was the holidays and the holidays are confusing and disorienting and make you want to live on the couch for a month while gorging yourself with White Chocolate Peppermint Pringles.

What I have not been is a lazy writer and somehow I’ve managed to stumble through my month-long writer’s block and spew out a bunch of stuff.

So, because I’m a lazy blogger this month, I’m going to be super-ass lame and share with you a couple of articles I wrote on other sites, but ones I’m particularly proud of. I hope you enjoy! Regular blogging will resume shortly and I think my first post will be about “moochetarians”, the title given to a person who is vegetarian except when someone gives them free food- then they will eat a pig’s entire face if they have to.

December 28, 2012 by
20-Something, Austin, Hipstercrite Life

A Very Merry Orphan X-mas: Did You Spend the Holidays Away From Family?

I hope y’all are enjoying the holidays!

I last wrote about how butt-hurt I was that I wasn’t able to go home for the holidays and how Christmas is not the same when you’re an adult and blah blah blah.

Well I finally got past my moping when I experienced the MOST AWESOMEST ORPHAN X-MAS PARTY EVER!

My lovely friend Karinne (see beautiful hipster chick below) co-hosted an X-mas Eve shindig that brought 20 little orphans together in a festivity of fine food, libations, board games and gift-giving (my boyfriend gave Karinne an expired book of coupons from 2007, so not all the gifts were stellar).

We ate halibut with cream sauce, broccolini, brussels sprouts, kale and sweet potato salad, spinach salad and the gift that keeps on giving, Rippled Lays with french onion dip. White Russians were sipped while Risk was played (did you know that the French filmmaker behind The Red Balloon created Risk?) The warm glow of Christmas lights that hung over a merry table of jovial friends and lovers (more…)

December 27, 2012 by
Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

A Gray, Rainy Day in LA (Pictures)

We snuck out to LA for a few days this past weekend to finish up sound on our movie and to visit with friends and family.

It was a whirlwind trip that almost included a visit to the Conan O’Brien set to see Bryan Cranston!!!!, but alas, I forgot how AWE-INSPIRINGLY SHITTY LA traffic is and couldn’t make it on time. Woof! I do not miss being a slave to my car and I do not miss paying so much for gas (gas is $2.99 in Austin, suckers!)

The weather was not typical LA weather. It was cold and gray and barely surpassed 60 degrees most days.

It was beautiful.

Below are a few pictures from our visit.

It might not be the right city for me, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop romanticizing about it.

Please excuse the weird face I’m making in the last photo- I downed a half of a bottle of red wine before my flight…

Oh, and the second to last photo is of Geoff injecting cream cheese into a corn dog.

Yes, they taste as amazing as they sound.

December 19, 2012 by
20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

All the Tiny Sounds: An Exercise in the Forgotten Art of Journal Writing

This past week, my writing work has picked up to the point where my mind is left strained, incapable of producing intelligible words after a certain point. Though I’m beyond thrilled and appreciative to have the work, it leaves  me with leftover brain mush to spew out onto my blog. My blog is a big part of my life and I made a promise to myself to write every day (a promise I haven’t kept), but on days when my mental and emotional states are taxed, I want nothing more than to write “BLARGHHHHHSMAPPPPPPP!”  over and over in this empty white space.

But last night at 2AM, I forced myself to upchuck thoughts onto paper with pen, something I hadn’t done in awhile and something that ended up looking like a child wrote it. It was difficult and often ugly, but a good exercise in knowing that I could still partake in the art of journal-scribbling.

My life has gotten very regimented. I go to bed around 12AM-1AM, wake up between 8:30AM-9:30AM and write and interact on the web until the waft (more…)

December 14, 2012 by