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Hipstercrite Life

Happy National Feral Cat Day!

You know what that means, right?

Find yourself a feral cat, throw a piece of cake at it and run.

Since I work from home, ~~I’VE BEGUN LOSING MY MIND~~ I spend a lot of time talking to and getting to know the feral cats in our neighborhood. They tell me their secrets.

And there are a lot of them (cats, not secrets).

There’s Zorro, Fatface, Baby Momma, Fake Dee, Gray Kitty, Gray Tomcat, Blackie (we’re very creative with names) and a slew of others that ~~stick their kitty pecpees in the kitty vajayjays and then leave~~ come and go.

If the cats didn’t run away in terror every time I came near them, then I would have individual pictures for all of them.

The only pics I have are of Zorro because he’s semi-blind and doesn’t know when I creep up on him from behind (he also looks like Grumpy Cat) and a group shot of Zorro, Fake Dee and Gray Kitty hanging out. They like to sleep in groups, with Zorro often acting as elder statesman of (more…)

October 16, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

20 Signs That You Hate Your Job

It feels like every day an article titled “20 signs that you hate your job!” pops up in my inbox or social media feed.

With 70% of Americans disengaged from their work, it comes as no surprise that these type of articles appear with frequency.

I hated doing the 9 to 5 monkey dance and that is why I left it. It’s been two years since I worked in a conventional office setting and I haven’t looked back (she says while slurping the last drop of her Top Ramen).

Unless you work for a company like Google or a similar company that encourages work-life balance and creativity, “working for the man” can feel soul-sucking and pointless.

It took most of my twenties to realize that I was disillusioned working for people who didn’t care as much for me as I did for them. Here is a story about the height of my dismay, but was in too much denial at the time to recognize it.

I’ve never shared this story publicly before.

I used to work at a celebrity-owned production company. Very few people (more…)

September 20, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

When Ambien Causes You to See Double-Headed Clown Monsters

via Toothpaste for Dinner

So, last Saturday I tried Ambien for the first time, or as what I like to call the “HOLY SHIT! AM I DYING?!?!” pill.

The Ambien was not prescribed to me, but rather to my boyfriend who is in the process of convalescing from arm surgery (hey, don’t judge- you probably would have taken it too if it was in front of you and you had no clue that it is the tears of the Devil). Last weekend he was out of town and due to my anxiety of living in a neighborhood where you often call 911 because someone dressed like a ninja is sitting on your front lawn at 4:30AM, I thought it would be helpful if I took the sleeping aid to prevent any “Is there a ninja currently on my front lawn?!” panic attacks.

I had never taken Ambien before, but some friends are frequent users and I figured, “Hey! What’s the worst that can happen?”

If seeing double-headed clown monsters is the worst than can happen, then I experienced the worst.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that (more…)

September 18, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

Holiday Depression on Holidays I Confuse for Memorial Day

Yesterday I was in a funk and I couldn’t figure out why.
Then it dawned on me: It’s a holiday!
Even though Labor Day is one of those holidays that, sadly, had little impact on me growing up other than it meant a day off from school, it still sent me into an aimless walkabout the house, thinking about things I strategically avoid thinking about.

The older I get the more holidays bum me out.

Maybe if I had children I would feel differently?

Maybe if my partner believed in holidays they would be much more fun?

I spent most of the day wistfully thinking back to when I was a child, which lead me to thinking about where all the time has gone, which lead me to thinking about all those who came before us whose memories have faded away, which lead me to thinking about the long stretches of time that goes in between seeing my family, which lead me to thinking about the wrinkles and age spots I see on my parent’s skin, which lead me to thinking about my own gray hairs and spiderweb (more…)

September 3, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

How to Handle Life’s Challenges

Sometimes life is hard.

Sometimes you just want to curl up into a ball on the couch and growl, scream, ROAR at the next person who asks you a question.

Sometimes you want to drink stale wine from a bottle on the couch with a tub of cream cheese and binge-watch Orange is the New Black.

This past week has been emotionally challenging. A young friend passed away suddenly which has left many of asking why, I’ve been taking care of my boyfriend whose arm surgery has left him in tremendous pain, not sleeping and mostly house-ridden, my financial situation has reached nightmare-inducing proportions, and my anxiety is at an all-time high. In the past month I’ve had four panic attacks- that is the most I’ve experienced ever in a short period of time.

But that’s what this wonderful life is about, right? It’s about challenges. It’s about getting up every day and fighting the battles and putting out fires.

Life is about getting up, staring the day in the face and saying, “You can work (more…)

August 21, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

Why My Mother Deserves Love After Twenty Years of Being Single

Unsuccessfully teaching my mom how to use chopsticks

My mother hasn’t dated in over twenty years.

In twenty years, she hasn’t felt the touch of another when she becomes scared, frustrated, or confused. In twenty years, she hasn’t heard the words “It’s going to be OK” when she needs to hear it most. It twenty years she hasn’t had a partner to help her with tasks around the house, to sit an enjoy watching The Big Bang Theory with (so, my Mom likes The Big Bang Theory- do you have a problem with that?), or to take her out to dinner and a movie.

In twenty years my mother has been alone.

When my father left in intervals during my one-digit years, my mother had tremendous difficulty with it. I would scold her for crying because I needed her to be strong; it wasn’t until I was an adult and had my heart broken that I could grasp the severity of what she was going through (and realize how selfish I was being). Her dream was broken and there was nothing she could do to repair it. How (more…)

August 13, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Crowdsourcing Your Future

I’m at a point in my life where I have no idea what my next creative step is.

There are so many ideas I want to bring to fruition, but indecisiveness due to fear is holding me back (like it always does).

Do you have that problem?

Don’t you wish you could just turn to a random stranger, grab them by the collar and drool, “PLEASE SIR/MADAM, TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO WITH MY LIIIIIIFE!!!”

Maybe that is why so many creative friends hire life coaches. Sometimes it’s easier to have someone else tell you what your next step should be.

Or sometimes it’s easier to default to what Prince would do.

I have an obnoxiously talented and beautiful friend whose biggest obstacle is this exact thing. Everything she attempts turns out excellent: music, art, film- you name it! But her indecisiveness and fear of failing holds her back. I constantly tell her, “JUST DO! JUST CREATE!” and when she does, she feels AWESOME, but she typically abandons the project and never finishes. Sadly, I can (more…)

August 8, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life, Travel

Why the Mother-F’ing Train is the Best Form of Travel

train selfie

Last week was not a stellar week in the commercial aviation world.

I’m sure you read about the Asiana plane crash in San Francisco where two people died and scores of others injured. It’s a miracle that more people didn’t die, but this scenario and highly grotesque others are what I think about every time I get on a god damn plane.

The last time I flew, I pulled several muscles in my lower back due to anxiety. I talked the ear off of a nice, young Jewish man (we’re friends on Facebook now). I also drank $30 worth of booze, which sounds like a lot, but airport booze is the equivalent of spiking a child’s juice box.

Lately, even thinking about getting on a plane sends me into a Rainman-esque dance of slapping my forehead while rocking in a ball on the bed, so that is why, when Geoff asked me to travel to Tucson with him recently, I said yes, but only if I could take the mother-f’ing train.

So, that’s what I did. I took the absolute slowest form of travel you can (more…)

July 12, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

15 More Signs That You’re Almost 30

Did y’all see that Buzzfeed article yesterday called 30 Signs You’re Almost 30?

Reading signs such as “you’ve gone to a bar and left because it was too loud” and “there’s an increasing number of musical artists you haven’t heard of” brought me great comfort; I’ve learned that I’m not the only curmudgeonly, 80 year-old-feeling 30 year-old out there. Since Austin is Never Never Land for hipsters, I often feel like the odd woman out.

The Buzzfeed post gave me the confidence to share my own signs of turning 30 (and as you will be able to tell from #1, turning 30 child-less) . I hope you can relate.

If not, I’m going to go crawl underneath my recliner chair AND DIE.

1.) Your mother tells you more and more often, “I don’t get it- you never wanted to nap this much as a child!”

2.) Watching Games of Thrones is sometimes better than having real sex.

3.) When you drive by college students, you find yourself saying things like, “Look at that stupid asshole and their (more…)

July 10, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Is Having Children All That It’s Cracked Up to Be?

I’m currently reading Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores The Truth About Parenting and Happiness by Feministing founder and four-time author Jessica Valenti.

I had been eyeing Why Have Kids? after reading a 2012 Daily Beast review, and am happy to finally sink my teeth into the book.

Nearly finished, I’ve been enjoying the book immensely. Though many of Valenti’s points are rehashed over and over, she lends a thought-provoking read. Whether or not you agree with her observations (she’s had a lot of controversial ones over the years), you can’t help but respect that she’s one of the few who has publicly asked, “Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Now, wait a minute! Is having kids all that it’s cracked up to be?”

As a person who is terrified of having children due to: 1.) anxiety issues 2.) fears of giving up my freedom and 3.) being an only child of divorced parents, Valenti is able to articulate my thoughts and then some about my concerns of becoming a parent. She cites numerous studies showing (more…)

June 18, 2013 by hipstercrite

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