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Hipstercrite Life

Don’t Eat Discounted Fiber Pills While at a Film Festival

Last weekend, we were fortunate enough to screen our film Loves Her Gun at the Oak Cliff Film Festival.

Oak Cliff is a vibrant neighborhood in Downtown Dallas, bubbling with creativity and conversation (i.e. Hipster Central).

Of course, I fell in love with it.

What makes Oak Cliff appealing is that it still appears to be a harmonious marriage of old and new. An explosion of expensive restaurants and condos has yet to happen, and the creative folks that are coming into the neighborhood are adapting old, historic buildings into innovative community spaces. We spent the majority of our stay at the historic Texas Theatre, where Lee Harvey Oswald was apprehended, and is now owned by four young men who offer themed screenings and blockbuster events much like the Alamo Drafthouse.

Our carload to Dallas from Austin included me (the writer), Geoff (the director), Amy (the DP) and Jennymarie (the actress). On our way out of town, we stopped at Walgreens to pick up Geoff’s ‘roids (he (more…)

June 17, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

On Turning 30: It’s Not as Scary as You Think

source

Today I turn thirty.

Wow.

I never imagined this day would come (I said this exact sentence while watching the series finale of The X-files).

We would stay dirty, stinky kids forever, right?

Thirty just seemed so unthinkable, so impossible. Didn’t life just stop at 27, like it did for Jimi, Jim and Janis?

I didn’t plan for a life after thirty. Thirty meant homes and marriage and babies and none of those things ever resonated with me. I’m an only child of divorced parents who always wanted to work in Hollywood, so needless to say, a life of solitary seemed like the direction I was headed in. And for awhile, I was very much alone. For the first half of my twenties, I was glued to my career, and was existentially lost and angry. My career as a personal assistant was not the right fit for me, but I was determined to make it work- at the costs of friendships and my mental health. I was a mess, getting drunk alone at night in order to deal with my confusion, blowing off (more…)

June 12, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Quit Squeezing Your Boobies: A Lesson In Managing Anxiety

image via

My anxieties are reaching an all-time high lately, I thought as my doctor scolded me for touching my boobies too much.

“Quit squeezing your boobs!” is what she said, actually.

I had scrambled to the doctors after I became convinced that one boob was firmer than the other, thus meaning that a giant tumor was taking over the right side of my body. In fact, I’ve been having muscle issues on my entire right side for months now, and instead of being logical about it (the right side of my body is my mouse hand and I spend over 4-8 consecutive hours on my computer a day), I constantly dwell on the idea that I have side cancer.

I’ll refrain from getting into details on my boob-squeezing obsession, but I will say this: boob-squeezing is a slippery slope. If you think there is something wrong with your boobs and you constantly squeeze your boobs to see if something is wrong, then your boobs are going to hurt and then you’ll REALLY think something is wrong with them.

*Side (more…)

June 6, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

Home Is Where I Want to Be

…pick me up and turn me ’round.

Where is home?

Is it the house you grew up in? The house you shared with your parents and siblings and where so many beloved memories rest?

Is home the apartment you share with your partner? Your dog? Your friend? The place where you come home to after work, cook yourself a meal and stumble back to after a night out?

Or is home the place you created with your own spouse and children? The place you put so much time, money and energy into being safe, comfortable and loving.

Can you have multiple homes? Like the saying says, can home be wherever you want it to be?

I ask myself this question every time I fly back to Central New York, where I grew up, and every time I fly back to Austin, where I currently live.

And I can never find the answer.

fresh eggs from my child-hood friend Dan, the urban farmer

outside Moosewood Restaurant in Ithaca, NY

Eat your veggies!

Mom and Geoff at Watkin’s Glen, NY

Our first trip (more…)

June 4, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Evidence That I Was an Insanely Nerdy 13 Year-Old

Have you ever come across a list of future goals you created as a child and realize that you’ve failed miserably at life? I’m back home visiting in Central New York and discovered that my Mom framed my life failings in a scrapbook. The goal list below I created at 13 years of age as I was going through a painfully embarrassing X-files and Elton John obsession (painful = alienated friends and loved ones).

Sadly, I can only say that I’ve succeed in accomplishing goals #1 (David Duchovny), #2 (emails count, right?), #3 (Loves Her Gun), #9 (can I swap this out for the SAG Awards?) and #10 (Vancouver).

I’ve written out my goals below in case you get lost once my ADD kicked in and I got bored in filling in the rest of the list with color. I’ve also left my typos and punctuations errors in all their teenage glory.

What were your prepubescent goals?

1.) Meet Elton, David (Duchovny), Gillian (Anderson), Chris (Carter) Etc.

2.) Write letters to over 700 people.

3.) Make a movie.

4.) (more…)

May 29, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

Always Remember: Life Really Isn’t That Bad

Are you one of those people that when strangers ask you how life is you draw a complete blank, figuring that life has become so monotonous nothing is worth talking about? You stand there with the faintest bit of drool trickling out of the corner of your mouth and begin zoning in on squirrels playing over the question asker’s shoulder? It physically hurts to think about and articulate the happenings in your life. That physical pain and frustration turns to rage and you begin growling at the person; they run off and you’re left staring into a gaping void known as your life.

Or when a true friend asks you how life is, you scramble to find something to gripe about because you have no idea why? Instead of saying “LIFE IS GRAND!” (which it is) to the question of your well being, you respond with, “Eh, I’m ok. Yeah, just ok. I’m fairly certain the right side of my body is dying with more speed than the left and I’m not sure I ever want to get married or have babies- unless they help drive (more…)

May 13, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

A Letter to My 20 Year-Old Dumbass Self: I’m Glad You Made Mistakes

(girl, lemme get you some eye makeup remover)

Dear Lauren,

Whoa, girl, whoa.

Hold onto your still firm butt (bitch!)- it’s about to get all kinds of shitty in here.

You’re excited right now. Excited to begin your adult life in Hollywood, the place you dreamed of going to as a child, but boy oh boy, are you going to feel like the essence of canine fecal matter on the bottom of someone’s shoe very soon.

Your twenties are going to feel like those old wooden roller coaster rides that make you both mentally and psychically ill.

Am I going to throw up? Did someone just throw up on me? Did I just break a rib from being tossed into the side of this rickety coaster car? Will my fate play out like Fabio with a bird smashing into my face? Am I about to be catapulted hundreds of feet into the air and impaled on the little kids’ swirly cup ride?

Life is full of so many questions right now.

You’re going to spend the first half of your twenties drinking alone in your tiny-ass (more…)

May 6, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

What I Think About When I Watch My Father Leave

I avoided finishing this post all week because it was just too damn hard to tackle. You grow up, try to survive and the last thing you want to do is dig up memories from your childhood. Not because the memories are bad, but because you know you’ll never have those moments back. It’s easier to look forward than to realize how much time has passed.

My father visited me last week. We went on typical dad-daughter adventures. My father moved away when I was a little girl and though we didn’t see one another often, we talked on the phone frequently. He was and continues to be a big part of my life in an unconventional way.

Seeing him is always emotional for me. When I was little, it would hit me very hard. Now that I’m older, I try not to dwell on my emotions too much, but they typically get the best of me once I watch him walking through the airport door and later that evening when I’m alone with my thoughts. Here is a story of how I try to make sense of those feelings.

________

I (more…)

April 26, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life, Travel, Writing

I Was Told My Dad is Anthony Bourdain (pics)

My Pops was in town last week for a dad-daughter road trip.

When I was younger, we used to love going on adventures. Sadly, I grew up, we moved to different states and life got away from us. Recently we decided that we needed some good one-on-one time and do what we d0 best- have adventures. No significant others, no plans and not a worry in the world. We traveled to San Antonio and Gruene, but our Kennedy assassination vacation to Dallas was postponed to another time due to the devastating explosion in West, Texas, which nestles on the main freeway between Austin and Dallas.

Tomorrow I will write more in-depth about my father, but today I wanted to post pictures from the trip. A lot of people have pointed out that my dad looks like Anthony Bourdain. What do you think?

Sourdough, shrimp, Grandma’s Humus, vinho verde, olives, aged cheddar cheese, Dad, Arrested Development

Palms over Lake Travis

Everyone’s favorite spot to bring the parents- Hula Hut

River Walk, San Antone

Mexican (more…)

April 22, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

Humanity in Beantown: A Personal Story at the Boston Marathon

After learning of the horrific attack at the Boston Marathon yesterday, it quickly dawned on me that my dear friend Kate was at the event. I learned that she was OK, but less than a mile from the finish line before the bombings. Being a Bostonite and avid marathoner, the attacks particularly hit home for Kate- as it did for many of us.

Kate asked me to share with you her account of what happened yesterday and to implore you to focus on all the stories and images of good circulating the web. You can read more of Kate’s writing here.

__________________

We live in a smartphone world. You can order food, deposit checks, and stalk your ex all in one finger swipe. Unfortunately you can also access horrific images without even getting out of bed.

There are countless eyewitness accounts out there surrounding the tragedy of the Boston Marathon.

This is mine.

I wasn’t a registered runner but part of the bandit tradition. I waited at the light at Chestnut Street and Comm Ave. to join (more…)

April 16, 2013 by hipstercrite

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