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Film, Music, Pop Culture

Prince Pubic Hair Jeff Goldblum Boner Time

My mother always taught me to aim high and by God she taught me well for you see, Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve discovered that when one Googles “Prince pubic hair”, “Freddie Mercury chest hair” and “Jeff Goldblum boner” Hipstercrite is the very first search result that comes up on Google.

I know what you’re thinking- that is some pretty impressive shit.

Well, it took me a very long time to get to Prince Pubic Hair Freddie Mercury Chest Hair Jeff Goldblum Boner status in life. I knew when I was a little girl that it would be a difficult task but one day, I would achieve such notoriety.

It wasn’t an easy journey though.

The first time I wrote about Prince’s pubic hair it caused strain on the relationship between my father and I. It was in the early stages of my blog and boundaries had yet been established between what my parents and my blog. My Dad, at the time, thought my blog was a parental buffet of offspring information and was surprised when he read my post about Prince’s pubic (more…)

January 19, 2011 by
Music, Pop Culture

Why This Must be the Place (Naive Melody) is the Best Song in the World


I’ll never forget the moment that the film went black. A lone floor lamp is switched on as three large video panels fade into images of bookshelves. Various keyboards start to intertwine as a lanky figure in a white suit stands awkwardly onstage, about to sing one of the few windows into his heart. It was eleven years ago that I first heard “This Must be the Place (Naive Melody)” by the Talking Heads in their 1984 concert film, Stop Making Sense. It is still my favorite song. The song I want played at my wedding- if I ever have one- and the song I want played at my funeral- if I ever die. If I get a tattoo, it would be simply of the first line in this song- “Home, is where I want to be pick me up and turn me ’round.” This song has been played over 10,000 times between my laptop, iPod, and car stereo. I instantly freeze and lose complete cognitive functions when “This Must be the Place” plays anywhere.

It’s hard to understand what exactly about a song strikes a listener and then lingers in (more…)

January 3, 2011 by
Film, Music, Pop Culture

Holiday Gift Ideas for the Disgustingly Rich

Say that money wasn’t an issue this holiday season. Say you could buy your loved one anything they wanted- like Vincent Gallo’s sperm or va-jay-jay perfume. What would you buy them?? If you’re loaded with moola and have no shame in spending flagrant amounts of money for no reason, here is your must-have holiday gift list below!

1.) Delorean Time Machine Conversion $23,999– I don’t even think this price includes the car. It costs $24,000 simply to have two nerds adhere some plastic tubes and a non-working flux capacitor to your Delorean. For that much money, they better include Marty McFly, George McFly, and Doc Brown blow-up dolls so I can finally live-out my…never mind.

2.) True Blood Vampire Survival Kit $699- For almost $700 you will receive: (1) Condom, (1) Lollipop, (1) Vial of fake blood and syringe, and (1) Thing of “Vamp-Aids”. With the impending take-over of vampires in the near future, this purchase seems like a sound investment to me. This underwear worn by Alexander Skarsgard (more…)

December 17, 2010 by
Film, Hipstercrite Life, Music, Pop Culture

Last Minute Hipster Halloween Costume- Your Ideas

Yesterday’s post regarding last minute hipster Halloween costume ideas had such positive feedback that I wanted to hear your ideas!

Y’all are so clever…

Hall and Oates– (for Hall) blonde mullet, leather jacket or private detective coat, a list with a woman’s kiss print on it, (for Oates) jheri curl wig, mustache, t-shirt with arms cut off, the ability to handle being second fiddle OR I like@dj_orion‘s idea better: carry around a bag of oats and when people ask what you’re doing say, “I’m haulin’ oats.”

Antoine Dodson– black undershirt, red handkerchief, jheri curl wig, sass, discomfort in knowing that there is something still slightly racist about making fun of this (via josh)

The Hipster Grifter– pixie wig, headband, any Urban Outfitters ensemble, fake tattoos on chest, a copy of Vice Magazine, the weight of the world’s hate on your shoulders (via @pollysyllabick)

Marc Bolan– Jheri curl wig, Bowie’s hand-me-down fitted velvet three piece suit, boa, and glittery cheekbones (more…)

October 28, 2010 by
Film, Hipstercrite Life, Music, Pop Culture

Last Minute Hipster Halloween Costume Ideas

I’d say about 90% of people wait until the last friggin‘ possible minute to get their Halloween costume. I know this because having worked at a clothing store that is popular around Halloween time encourages every asshole to come in the day of wanting to dress like a 70’s porn star or an 80’s aerobic instructor and they think they’re the first person on the planet to ever come up with that idea.

Some people wait until the last minute because they have no idea what the hell they’re going to wear.
If you’re one of those people, then look no further.
I have your one-stop last minute hipster Halloween costume go-to guide below.
First, if you’re a good hipster, you will already have these items in your collection:
1.) top hat
2.) mustaches of various shapes and colors
3.) bow ties
4.) ties
5.) suspenders
6.) suits- two piece and three piece and of various color and material
7.) horn-rimmed glasses
8.) loafers
9.) vest
10.) Wayfarers
11.) wigs of various shapes and colors- particularly (more…)
October 27, 2010 by