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An Open Letter to People Who Flip Off Cameras

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Dear People Who Flip Off  Cameras,

I originally wrote “Dear Douchebags” in my salutation, but didn’t want to seem so bitter. However, that is what you indeed look like, a douchebag, when you flip off the camera.

I’m writing to you today because after viewing the 100th photo of one of your kind flipping off the camera for NO APPARENT REASON on my Facebook feed yesterday, something in me snapped: I began deleting your kind from my friend list. It takes a lot for me to de-friend someone (the only other people I delete are the ones who post about Jesus, IN CAPS, every ten minutes- do you want to fall into the same category as them?), but I got so tired of being flipped off for shits and giggles that I decided to remove any trace of your unnecessary sign language from my vision. Now, of course, because you are the sort of person who likes to flip off the camera, and likes to show the world that you have a laissez-faire attitude towards life, you would respond to my previous (more…)

November 26, 2012 by
Austin, Pop Culture

10 Reasons Why Austin Should Secede From Texas

As you may know, some individuals in our beloved state of Texas are petitioning to secede from the union. As of now there are over 100,000 signatures for Texas to go rogue.

Well, Austin has decided to one-up Texas and start a petition to secede from the state and join the union.

Hey, I love Texas as much as the next person, but if some of y’all are going to be a bunch of boobs, why not secede from Texas?

Below are the top ten reasons why Austin should become its own state.

And P.S., to all you Texans outside of Austin reading this, I very much love this state I live in (except for the majority of its politics) and this is all in good fun. Please don’t stone me.

 

10 Reasons Why Austin Should Secede From Texas

1.) We will no longer be referred to as “A blue dot in a red state”, but rather “A blue state in a red whatever the hell you are now”

2.) No longer under the tyranny of Governor Rick Perry, we can finally elect Lloyd Doggett as governor of Austin.

3.) (more…)

November 16, 2012 by
Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

What I Wore Today: Tacky Christmas Sweater Tee

This is my second “What I Wore Today” post this week, deal with it.

My brain has been a big pile of mush as of lately so the best I can do is post pictures, write short paragraphs and watch squirrels play in the yard.

However, this is a very special “What I Wore Today” post because I’m wearing a kick-ass t-shirt from New Orleans t-shirt company, Skip N’ Whistle.

I’m a big fan of their “Tacky X-mas Sweater T-Shirt” series, which is currently for sale on Fab.

My tee has dancing reindeer on it, but other shirts include prancing cats, dinoasaurs and combative unicorns.

HOW MANY SHIRTS DO YOU HAVE WITH COMBATIVE UNICORNS ON IT, HUH?

I bet you NONE!

Since “fall is hotter than balls” (Austin’s new official city slogan), I’m digging that I don’t actually have to wear a tacky X-mas sweater to wear a tacky X-mas sweater in the holiday season.

On a side note, I suck MAJOR ASS as taking selfsies. How the hell do you teenyboppers do it? It took me hours to get a shot that I liked (more…)

November 9, 2012 by
Austin, Film, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

Holy Crap! We Made a Movie and It’s Almost Finished!

Last year, I co-wrote and co-produced a movie called Loves Her Gun.

It still seems like a dream that the film even happened.

One day we were coming up with an idea for a movie, the next day we were shooting it. For a month.

And in that time, I don’t think I slept, took a proper bowel movement or tended to my daily needs such as personal hygiene or eating.

Filmmaking is both an exhilarating and exhausting experience.

Guerrilla filmmaking is both those things times TEN MILLION HUNDRED!

Imagine feeding a crew of 30 on no budget (sorry, guys…I’m glad you liked the cream cheese sandwiches though), housing five-ten people in your home, driving an old-school RV half-way across the country in 30 hours, experiencing a devastating wildfire that effected the lives of several of our crew members, working on a movie with your boyfriend and generally feeling like poo-poo that you can’t pay people Hollywood pay because you’re a little movie mostly funded by credit cards.

THAT (more…)

November 8, 2012 by
Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

When Steampunk Lighting Gives You a Cotton Gin-Sized Boner

Whoa.

Election parties, tequila and allergy headaches DO NOT mix.

I have no idea what year it is, let alone what day.

Did Kennedy end up winning last night?

While I try to discern what planet I’m on, the best post I can write today is one about how I love lamp.

Sometimes I even love more than one lamp.

Particularly old-timey ones.

You know, that steampunk shit you see popping up in the 1920s Parisian-themed bathrooms of the new gastropubs in town?

Ohhhh man, do I get a cotton gin-sized boner for this stuff.

Check out some neat-o lighting I found for sale, including discounted fixtures at the Scoutmob Shoppe and some neat-o objects made by Geoff’s uncle up in Dallas.

I want to buy them alllllllll and make my house look like Nikola Tesla’s lab.

 

$120

$125

$375

$75

$475

$279

November 7, 2012 by
Fashion/Design, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Writing

What I Wore Today: Election Day Edition

 

Today is Election Day!

The Instagrams has been all aflutter with photos of long voting lines, “I voted stickers” and Election Day outfits today. Even Lena Dunham has implored with us to share our voting ensembles with her. It’s been a very exciting day in the world of social media.

I feel a little left out today. You see, I’m registered in another state and very boringly sent in my absentee ballot a few weeks ago.

Luckily I took a picture so I can share with you my “Sending in My Absentee Ballot Day” outfit with you!

It also happens to be the outfit I’m wearing today (and tomorrow).

What I wore:
Top: a “vintage” baseball t-shirt found at the bottom of a clothing pile in the backyard of American Apparel $0
Bottom: the California Fleece Slim Fit Pant from American Apparel $36
Shoes: Keen flip flops given to me at an event involving popsicles $0
Hair: Hard water and shampoo
Makeup: Bare Essentials, allergies
Mood: Simultaneously proud and defeated. Proud that (more…)

November 6, 2012 by
Austin, Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

Giveaway: Mustache-Themed Jewelry by Austin Designer Vinca!

Today is Election Day!

I voted. If my lazy ass can vote, then your lazy ass can definitely vote too.

Even my 85 year-old non-lazy ass grandmother voted today! Yay right-exercising grandmas!

You’re probably going to be inundated with election news stories and blog posts today. To break up the monotony and to prevent yourself from turning into a small, crying red-headed child who mistakenly calls the POTUS an untrained horse, this post is not only going to be an election-free post (except for the little blurb written before this), it’s also going to be a gift-giving post.

In honor of the month o’ the ‘stache (and prostates), I’m having a mustache-themed jewelry giveaway from my favorite Austin jeweler, Vinca.

If you’re not familiar with Vinca, it is about to become your new favorite thing. Adorably creative laser-cut jewelry designed and produced by a team of kick-ass Austinwomen? Yes, please!

This booming company has been featured in Seventeen Magazine, Redbook and Fab.com (more…)

November 6, 2012 by
Film, Music, Pop Culture

All I Really Needed to Know I Learned From Rocky Horror Picture Show

The most exciting part of getting ready for our pumpkin carving party last Sunday was not the thought of running my fingers through mushy pumpkin guts or stuffing my cavity-filled mouth full of sun-melted, then asymmetrically reformed chocolate- it was the careful compiling of the Halloween playlist.

Halloween music holds a special slot in the nostalgia portion of the heart. From Bobby “Boris” Pickett’s Dracula inflections in “The Monster Mash” to Warren Zevon’s howling in “Werewolves to London”, Halloween tunes evoke a very strong and specific memory of childhood days planning out the perfect costume and walking from neighbor to neighbor, carefully keeping a mental check of the beautiful bounty accumulating in the trick-or-treat bag and quietly judging those who gave you Tootsie Roll Pops and non-brand name candy.

I carefully selected songs that reminded me of this special time in my life and anxiously awaited for our guests to arrive. Every time I thought I heard someone walking (more…)

October 31, 2012 by
Austin, Music, Pop Culture

Nothing Says Halloween Like a Karate Rock Band Wearing Prosthetic Limbs

My boyfriend has a band.

They’re called The Karate Kids.

They sing about the Karate Kid movies including the ill-advised remake starring Will Smith’s son.

They wear prosthetic limbs and perform each of their songs in the kicking crane position.

If this doesn’t sell you on them already, check out some of their songs. Side note- my boyfriend can’t sing. I will never tell him this and I hope you don’t either. It is a fact that he already knows and he doesn’t care. This is what I love about him: the determination to never give up and keep creating. Since he can’t sing, he ends up sounding like a cool higher-pitched Lou Reed/Leonard Cohen-hybrid.

Nicole Atkins (see below) played in the band for a few shows. Sissy Spacek likes them, and Bill Murray told them that he would go to one of their shows, but in truth, HE LIED and didn’t show up.

The Karate Kids are playing Halloween Night 9:15PM at East Austin’s non-douchey, two-steppin’ hipster hangout, The White Horse.

Details are here.

Hope (more…)

October 30, 2012 by