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How Not to be a Starving Artist

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an artist. Whether it was filmmaking, writing, acting or dressing up as deceased Borscht Belt entertainers, I had the bug and I knew I needed to pursue a career in the arts.

When you’re a wee one, you have no idea that a career in the arts means years, or sometimes a lifetime, of struggle, heartbreak, comparing yourself to your friends who took more conventional paths, stealing and drinking tiny bottles of alcohol from airplanes or being curled up in a ball on the couch immobile from the demoralizing fact that Bret Easton Ellis wrote Less Than Zero at 21, Orson Welles directed Citizen Kane at 25 and Tina Fey began writing for Saturday Night Live at 27. You have no freaking clue that these times of uncertainty will be punctuated with last ditch efforts to become a “real human being” by working as a paralegal at a law firm or an accountant at a law firm or an office manager at a law firm, and you’re not even sure how you got a job at a law firm because (more…)

December 8, 2014 by hipstercrite

Austin

Why You Should Make Aerial Silks a New Year’s Resolution

So, I didn’t win the Snap Kitchen #21DaysforGood Challenge, but I did learn a lot over the past 21 days. Because of this challenge, I completed volunteer opportunities and physical challenges that I had been too lazy/fearful/forgetful to do. I’m becoming a regular volunteer at the Austin Resource Center for the Homeless, I’m attempting to walk to work at least one day a week and I’ll being signing up for more aerial silk classes at Vamps Dance in the new year. I also learned that low dairy and low gluten makes my belly less poofy.

In the end, everyone won because Snap Kitchen donated $6,000 to charity!

One of the highlights of the challenge was doing an aerial silks class taught by Tolly (from Austin Eavesdropper). Kelly from SXSW was my partner in crime.

(Here is a picture of Tolly from her website, looking all gorgeous!)

Not only was this wildly fun, but it was also liberating! First, you use muscles you forgot you even had (my hands are so weak!!!). Second, it feels kind of sexy. (more…)

November 26, 2014 by hipstercrite

Austin

Yesterday a Homeless Man Gave Me Money

Last night, as I parallel parked my car on West 6th Street, between Hut’s Hamburgers and Whole Foods, a tall, older man dressed in black waved his arms at me, implying that I should back my car up.

“A $40 ticket they’ll give you for not being in the lines,” I could hear muffled through my window.

I made sure my car was in the lines and watched as the tall, older man dressed in black cheerfully spoke to the stream of people who walked by.

“Ain’t that a nice sweater you have!” he said to one man who eyed him suspiciously.

I exited my car and walked to the parking meter that stood between the man and I.

I too was suspicious of his jovial nature, and as we made small talk while I tried to purchase a parking sticker for my car with a credit card, I wondered when we’d get to the point he’d ask me for change.

Admitting this makes me cringe, but like most major cities, parking in downtown settings often comes with its share of panhandlers. When I was little, I couldn’t understand (more…)

November 13, 2014 by hipstercrite

Film, Pop Culture

The World is F’ed Up Right Now, So I Wrote Some X-files Fan Fiction

Guys, shit is fucked up in the world right now, so I wrote some X-files fan fiction.

I hope you enjoy it.

As I’ve shared before, I spent a lot of my teenage years dreaming about the lives of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully (mostly about them getting it on.)

Even now, when I have trouble sleeping, my imagination picks up where the show and second movie left off.

I think about this shit a lot, so I thought I’d write it down.

So, if you’re a weirdo like me, I hope you enjoy.

And please don’t judge my writing; it’s fan fiction.

(P.S. Writing about sexy times is hard for me, so it might take a couple of bottles of wine before I write sexy-fun-time-stuff.)

—-

When we last saw Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, they were clinging to one another in a New Mexico hotel bed, desperately staving off fear and hopelessness. They had just discovered that the end of the world was near, and there was nothing they could do about it.

Side note: In the world of X-files, the end of the world (more…)

November 6, 2014 by hipstercrite

Austin, Hipstercrite Life

I’m a Challenger for Snap Kitchen’s 21 Days for Good Challenge

Friends, I was asked to partake in a really exciting challenge.

Snap Kitchen, an Austin-based health food eatery, selected me as one of the 21 Texas challengers for their 21 Days for Good Challenge.

From November 1st-21st, Snap Kitchen will be providing us healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner as we work towards our personal goals for the month. In addition, the challenger who does the best job chronicling their 21-day journey will receive $3,000 for the charity of their choice. My charity is LIVESTRONG.

Instead of picking one goal, like losing weight or getting more fit, I decided to aim for 21 goals. On each of the 21 days, I will strive to do something good, either for myself or for someone else. I’ve been filling up my calendar with volunteer opportunities such as dinner service at the Austin Resource Center for the Homeless, dog walking at the Austin Animal Center, meal delivery through Meals on Wheels and trash pickup through Keep Austin Beautiful. As for personal goals, I’ll be (more…)

November 1, 2014 by hipstercrite

Austin, Fashion/Design, Film, Music, Pop Culture

12 Austin-Themed Halloween Costume Ideas

Hey, Austinite!

Still need a costume idea?

Well, I gotta list for you.

Check it: all Austin-themed costumes.

I’ve got costumes for people of all races, ages and genders. Some costumes poke fun, while others are meant to honor Austin’s greatest heroes.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Matthew McConaughey
Top: Just Keep Livin’ shirt featuring words of wisdom by McConaughey (these babies can be found at Dillards)
Bottom: Shorts
Shoes: Flip flops
Accessories: Bongos, sunglasses
Notes: Clothing optional

source

Romeo Rose
Top: A Renaissance or “Purple Rain” shirt from the Halloween store
Bottom: Printed pants- the more garish, the better
Shoes: Pointed cowboy boots
Accessories: Buck teeth, necklace of your initials, a rose, smarm

source

Jeremiah the Innocent (a.k.a. the Hi, How Are You? Frog)
Top: White t-shirt with “Hi, How Are You?” written in scraggily writing
Bottom: White pants
Shoes: Paper mache frog hands and feet
Accessories: Headband affixed with pipe cleaners (more…)

October 30, 2014 by hipstercrite

Film, Pop Culture

Help the historic Texas Theatre become even more awesome

Texas Theatre Oak Cliff

My friends over at the Texas Theatre in Dallas are running a Seed & Spark campaign to add digital projection to their theater.

And this blog post is to encourage you to consider donating to them.

Why the hell should I help the Texas Theatre get a digital projector, you ask?

Well for one, a digital projector, in conjunction with their current 35mm projector, will help the theater expand their business and continue to stay around for many years to come.

And, the reason why the Texas Theatre should be around for many years to come is because it’s a historical landmark. Not only was the theater founded by Howard Hughes (and boasts the first movie theater AC unit in Texas), but it’s also the location where Lee Harvey Oswald was apprehended after “assassinating” Kennedy.

How do you like them apples?

Hughes and Oswald.

Both Texans.

Both crazies.

This Oak Cliff gem takes a creative cue from funky film theaters like the Alamo Drafthouse. At this theater, libations (more…)

October 27, 2014 by hipstercrite

Austin

Austin’s Prop 1: Should I Vote For or Against the Transportation Bond?

If you’re like me, deciding whether or not to vote for Austin’s light rail and road bond, Prop 1, has been challenging.

There are countless op-eds, endorsements and disapprovals from Austin publications and citizens to sift through, and just when you think you’ve made up your mind, you read an article that changes it.

I’ve been asking my friends what their thoughts are on Prop 1, and they’ve sent me a slew of helpful articles. My Facebook friends are split 50/50, while my Twitters friends are predominantly against it. I’m still formulating my own decision, though I’m leaning towards no. I do think it is a weak and expensive plan for the city overall, but what I take most issue with is the continuation of segregation in Austin with continued development of north-south routes. I live in a neighborhood where it’s difficult, in good conscience, to vote for a bond that will raise property taxes $200+ for individuals who can barely afford them now. The new route will not benefit them (more…)

October 21, 2014 by hipstercrite

Austin, Film, Pop Culture

12 Reasons Why Matthew McConaughey Should be the Mayor of Austin

A few days ago, I posted the picture below with a promise to write about why Matthew McConaughey should be the mayor of Austin.

photo by Rick Kern for Getty Images

And I’m not talking about in the future. McConaughey should be mayor now. I’m encouraging everyone in Austin to write in Mr. McConaughey come election time on November 4th (or Steven Adler, if you’re not writing in). If anyone would like to join my McConaughey for Mayor campaign, let me know. You get to wear this t-shirt:

via Just Keep Livin

He’s the best guy for the job, and here are twelve reasons why.

And as my online friend Dannette pointed out, he will definitely keep Austin weird.

1.) He’s a native Texan, he went to the University of Texas at Austin and he lives in Austin.
But most important– he winks.

2.) He’s his own hero.
It’s important that your mayor believes in himself. It’s absolutely vital that your mayor will one day build a statue of himself dancing with a Lone Star can in front of the State Capitol (more…)

October 10, 2014 by hipstercrite

Austin, Pop Culture

10 reasons why Schlitterbahn is the best place on the planet

photo via Schlitterbahn

Schlitterbahn Waterpark is as Texan as corn dogs, boobie implants and Walker, Texas Ranger.

Built in New Braunfels, TX, in 1979, this water park is often referred to as the “HOLY SHIT OMG BEST WATER PARK FOREVER <3”

If you’re from Texas, Schlitterbahn is rite of passage.

If you’re not from Texas, natives will grab you, shake you and say, “YOU MUST GO TO THERE IMMEDIATELY” upon finding out you’ve never been.

And you do have to go immediately.

Schlitterbahn is life-changing.

There are five locations now, including the infamous Kansas City park with the tallest ~~pants-crapping~~ water slide in the world.

However, the original location is the best, and here are the reasons why:

1.) The park feels like it’s stuck in the 1970s, both in aesthetics and public health and safety. Even the common demographic at Schlitterbahn sports mullets and mustaches (including women). This makes you happy because you realize that society has (more…)

September 30, 2014 by hipstercrite

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