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Hipstercrite Life

Confessions of a Hypochondriac

chickenhypo

hello….?

(tap, tap, tap)

Is this thing on?

hi.

I’m going to write a blog post today.

It’s the first time I’ve felt like doing it in awhile.

You see, I started a new writing job that has (happily) exhausted my ability to drum up words at the end of the day, in addition to  a dad health scare (blood clot in intestinal artery; dad had to be subjected to me texting him every hour while in the hospital for five days) that left me frantic and emotionally spent.

Oh, and I’ve also had crippling anxiety lately.

Sadly, I’m not using the word “crippling” lightly here. I wish I was. I wish I could use the adjective “funkifying” instead.

I thought my anxiety got better after starting the new job; I figured that financial security and a routine would help set me back on track. And in some ways it did. However, I’m beginning to come to terms with the fact that if you have anxiety, there is probably no immediate magic, sparkly eraser for it.

So, as I mentioned before, (more…)

November 21, 2013 by
Austin, Hipstercrite Life

I May Hate Its Politics, But I Love Living in Texas

texas chili parlor

Me drinking a High Life at one of my favorite places- Texas Chili Parlor

It’s been a both a challenging and inspirational year for forward-thinking Texans.

As many of us continue to watch the ongoing HB2 saga unfold, we often feel confused in our emotions for our home state.

How can this wonderful and unique  state have such ass-backwards politics?

How can a state that  Molly Ivins, Jim Hightower and Wendy Davis calls/called home be so punishing? So foolish?

Sadly, many of our politicians only propel the outsider’s myth that the entire state is full of idiots and hillbillies. While Ted Cruz was busy being the ACA’s cock-block, many of my friends from elsewhere in the world posted social media updates saying they would rather die than live in a state like Texas. This sentiment broke my heart for if anyone who has lived in or spent time in Texas will know, it has been and will continue to be filled with many innovative and inspiring individuals.  I feel a guttural urge to (more…)

November 7, 2013 by
Hipstercrite Life, Writing

Why the Internet Can Be One Giant Awesome Place

the orange van

Hannah, Colin and The Orange Van

Having a blog can be equal parts inspiring and debilitating.

Debilitating may sound a little over-dramatic, but for anyone who spends several hours on the computer a day, you may relate to the physical and mental strain the Internet cacophony and the computer screen glow can cause. Bad posture, low self-esteem, pancake ass, eye fatigue, anger, frustrati0n, denial, sexual feelings towards cats- these are all emotions and ailments you may experience being a blog owner or Internet slave.

I often daydream of throwing a pillowcase over my computer, dragging it out behind the house and beating it a la Office Space style: slow-mo and with Texas rap stuttering from its dying speakers. I think about pulling its little plastic bits off one by one and putting them in a pile to burn.  While the neighbor kid watches on, I’ll take off my pants, soak them in gasoline, light them on fire and throw them onto the computer rubble. And I’ll dance around the blaze while (more…)

November 4, 2013 by
20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Always Remember: Comparison is the Thief of Joy

comparison is the thief of joy

My jealous neck

 

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

I don’t know who said it and I’m not sure the Internet does either, but my friends at Vinca put these brilliant words on a necklace for me because they know I’m a insecure and jealous turd of a blog post I wrote regarding 10 Different Ways for Artists to Fight Doubt and Insecurity.

In the post, I listed “stop comparing yourself to others” in ten variations. That’s all you really need to remember to fight artistic doubt and insecurity. Oh, and that whiskey will get you through the cold months (and I don’t mean winter).

In the insta-fame society we now live in, it can be very difficult not to compare yourself to others. When hard-working musicians see talentless teenagers make the news rounds because of their atrocious Youtube hit, feelings of confusion and denial may blister. When driven writers see 12 year-old fashion bloggers inking multimillion dollar contracts with fashion lines, the want to drink oneself into oblivion (more…)

October 22, 2013 by
Austin, Hipstercrite Life

Happy National Feral Cat Day!

cats

source (modified)

It’s National Feral Cat Day!

You know what that means, right?

Find yourself a feral cat, throw a piece of cake at it and run.

Since I work from home, I’VE BEGUN LOSING MY MIND I spend a lot of time talking to and getting to know the feral cats in our neighborhood. They tell me their secrets.

And there are a lot of them (cats, not secrets).

There’s Zorro, Fatface, Baby Momma, Fake Dee, Gray Kitty, Gray Tomcat, Blackie (we’re very creative with names) and a slew of others that stick their kitty pecpees in the kitty vajayjays and then leave come and go.

If the cats didn’t run away in terror every time I came near them, then I would have individual pictures for all of them.

The only pics I have are of Zorro because he’s semi-blind and doesn’t know when I creep up on him from behind (he also looks like Grumpy Cat) and a group shot of Zorro, Fake Dee and Gray Kitty hanging out. They like to sleep in groups, with Zorro often acting as elder statesman of (more…)

October 16, 2013 by
Film, Pop Culture

Hipster Costume Ideas for Halloween 2013

Every year I write a hipster Halloween costume list where I list various hipster-friendly costume ideas.

This year there was talk of a group of us dressing as the Doctors from Doctor Who OR as various Kurt Russells. Considering the Dr. Who costume is overdone, I like the idea of Kurt Russell, but my boyfriend and a few others already claimed the more interesting Kurts (Snake Plissken, R.J. MacReady) and I got left with his character from Overboard, who mostly wears a mullet and white tee (and I don’t have the boobs to compete).

kurt russell

Halloween is quickly approaching and I’m still not quite sure what I’m going to be. It’s my favorite holiday of the year, but when the time comes, I become PARALYZED WITH THE NOTION THAT I WON’T BE ABLE TO CREATE AN EPIC COSTUME AND I  END UP STAY AT HOME CURLED UP ON THE COUCH WITH A MUSTACHE GLUED TO MY UPPER LIP.

If you’re having trouble with costumes, here are a few last minute ideas:

terry richardson

Terry Richardson
-70s child molester glasses
-buzzed haircut
-clothing (more…)

October 15, 2013 by
Austin

What Your Life in Austin Will Be Like

austin, tx

So, you’re thinking of moving to Austin, right?

Welcome to the club.

It’s estimated that 115 people move to Austin each day, with the majority of non-Texans moving in from California– LA area, to be exact.

You’re probably moving to Austin to leave behind the rat race of LA or NYC, looking to calm your head and to search for a simpler life that still offers opportunity and cultural diversity.

You never could have imagined moving to Texas with its cowboy boot-wearing conservative leaders and 1950s ideology on women and minorities, but here you are, desperately wanting to move to the capital city of the Lone Star State. Years ago your friends would have laughed at you, but now they ask if they can join along for the ride.

Maybe you’ve visited Austin before during one of its major festivals like SXSW or ACL, or maybe you’ve never been. Maybe you’ve been reading all about this wonderous land from the plethora of top ten lists it’s featured in.

At this very second, you’re (more…)

October 8, 2013 by
Film, Pop Culture

Seven Female Film Characters I Want to Have a Drink With

Life is kind of poopy right now.

I’ve been feeling like crap for a few weeks and I think others have too. It doesn’t helped that our leaders completely and utterly failed us yesterday (P.S. if I made a scene or didn’t show up to work, I’d be FIRED, Congress!)

But you know what? Life has ebb and flow in the waste management dept. and that’s just the way it is. It’s all going to be ok, right?

RIGHT?!?

DEAR GOD, PLEASE TELL ME IT WILL ALL WORK OUT!!!!!111111111!!!!!!1111111

Something that helped me get through a particularly challenging few weeks was buffet-watching Jennifer Westfeldt films. Some of you may know her as the writer-actress of Kissing Jessica Stein, Ira & Abby and Friends with Kids, or some of you may simply know her as Jon Hamm’s long-term partner, which is too bad because she’s a brilliant and funny fox in her own right. Though her three features are mostly variations of the same story (neurotic Jewish girl and her creative friends search for love in New (more…)

October 2, 2013 by
20-Something

A Lesson in Being Idle

fashion-girl-photography-swing-Favim.com-124272_large

source

Something happened to me recently: I became scared of everything.

I write about my anxieties and fears often on this blog and sometimes I write about them in a joking manner, but lately it’s become not as funny as an episode of Two and a Half Men.

No, lately my days are filled with wanting to sleep, crying, panic attacks or near panic attacks, obsessively checking WebMD, not wanting to leave the house, leaving the house, but driving back to make sure that the door is locked a third time, fear of traveling and various physical aches and pains due to all the above.

I’ve never been depressed. Even in my early twenties when I spent many a’ emo nights writing tragic song lyrics with eraseable marker on my mirror, I knew I wasn’t depressed. I knew that I would no longer feel this way one day and that all my mixed emotions were due to not knowing who I was or what I wanted.

And it did all come together.

I figured out what I wanted and I got it.

I went after it and I (more…)

September 26, 2013 by