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20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

A Letter to My 20 Year-Old Dumbass Self: I’m Glad You Made Mistakes

lauren

(girl, lemme get you some eye makeup remover)

Dear Lauren,

Whoa, girl, whoa.

Hold onto your still firm butt (bitch!)- it’s about to get all kinds of shitty in here.

You’re excited right now. Excited to begin your adult life in Hollywood, the place you dreamed of going to as a child, but boy oh boy, are you going to feel like the essence of canine fecal matter on the bottom of someone’s shoe very soon.

Your twenties are going to feel like those old wooden roller coaster rides that make you both mentally and psychically ill.

Am I going to throw up? Did someone just throw up on me? Did I just break a rib from being tossed into the side of this rickety coaster car? Will my fate play out like Fabio with a bird smashing into my face? Am I about to be catapulted hundreds of feet into the air and impaled on the little kids’ swirly cup ride? 

Life is full of so many questions right now.

You’re going to spend the first half of your twenties drinking alone in your tiny-ass (more…)

May 6, 2013 by
Pop Culture

Want to Snuggle With All Eleven Doctors? Check Out These Adorable Doctor Who Dolls!

I never would have imagined in a million years that I would become a Doctor Who fan, but here I am, sitting here like a friggin’ monkey banging on my phone, attempting to figure out how to  change my cellphone ringer to the TARDIS landing/taking off whoosh noise (update: I successfully figured it out AND added a Baker-era and Tennant-era theme ringtone as well- don’t ask me how I did, I have no idea) .

I’ll be honest- I’m a newbie fan. I recall reading about Doctor Who in the nerdy sci-fi magazines I purchased in the 90s  due to my love for The X-files, but I have little experience with the series from 1963-2005 and have only watched the the series pertaining to the Ninth and Tenth Doctors (Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant). And up until last week, I enjoyed Eccleston more than Tennant (which lead to a public shaming from many of my Doctor Who-loving friends). Now that I’ve completed the end of Tennant’s second season, I’ll admit that he appeals to my feminine senses. When Tennant (more…)

May 1, 2013 by
Austin, Travel

*The Day I Drank a Bud Light Lime-a-Rita and Wrestled a Snake

tubing in Gruene, Texas

 

We happened upon a snake ball yesterday.

It’s not as cool as it sounds.

Before yesterday, I always thought a snake ball is when prepubescent male snakes put on their bow ties, ask to borrow their ‘rent’s Caddy and impress the female snakes with their dance moves learned from watching Michael Jackson clips on Youtube (at least that’s what I would do if I was a male snake).

A snake ball is exactly what was described above, but without the clip-on ties or awkward Thriller arm-waving that looks more like Alien Hand Syndrome.

A snake ball is when an ASS-LOAD OF SNAKES crowd around a female and try to get it on with her.

A snake ball is something that makes me nearly poop myself and become a dead weight that my friends have to drag around until I understand that the snakes are a.) not interested in biting us and b.) would have difficulty biting us in the water even if they wanted to bite us.

We were tubing on the Guadalupe River in Gruene, Texas. I’ve written about (more…)

April 29, 2013 by
Hipstercrite Life

What I Think About When I Watch My Father Leave

dad daughter

 

I avoided finishing this post all week because it was just too damn hard to tackle. You grow up, try to survive and the last thing you want to do is dig up memories from your childhood. Not because the memories are bad, but because you know you’ll never have those moments back. It’s easier to look forward than to realize how much time has passed.

My father visited me last week. We went on typical dad-daughter adventures. My father moved away when I was a little girl and though we didn’t see one another often, we talked on the phone frequently. He was and continues to be a big part of my life in an unconventional way.

Seeing him is always emotional for me. When I was little, it would hit me very hard. Now that I’m older, I try not to dwell on my emotions too much, but they typically get the best of me once I watch him walking through the airport door and later that evening when I’m alone with my thoughts. Here is a story of how I try to make sense of those feelings.

________

April 26, 2013 by
Hipstercrite Life, Travel, Writing

I Was Told My Dad is Anthony Bourdain (pics)

My Pops was in town last week for a dad-daughter road trip.

When I was younger, we used to love going on adventures. Sadly, I grew up, we moved to different states and life got away from us. Recently we decided that we needed some good one-on-one time and do what we d0 best- have adventures. No significant others, no plans and not a worry in the world. We traveled to San Antonio and Gruene, but our Kennedy assassination vacation to Dallas was postponed to another time due to the devastating explosion in West, Texas, which nestles on the main freeway between Austin and Dallas.

Tomorrow I will write more in-depth about my father, but today I wanted to post pictures from the trip. A lot of people have pointed out that my dad looks like Anthony Bourdain. What do you think?

dad looks like anthony bourdain

Sourdough, shrimp, Grandma’s Humus, vinho verde, olives, aged cheddar cheese, Dad, Arrested Development

hula hut austin

 Palms over Lake Travis

hula hut austin

Everyone’s favorite spot to bring the parents- Hula Hut

river walk san antonio

River Walk, San Antone

mexican manhattan san antonio

Mexican (more…)

April 22, 2013 by
Hipstercrite Life

You Know You’re Dating An Artist When…

You find a closet full of limbs.

The paternal unit is visiting this week (JFK assassination vacay in Dallas commence!), so I’ll probably be a lazy-ass blogger and post a bunch of photos.

Today’s photo is of our closet and what I discovered while  cleaning over weekend.

This is how you know you’re dating an artist…or Patrick Bateman, as some of you were kind enough to point out.

prosthetic limbs

 

April 15, 2013 by
20-Something, Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

Urban Outfitters vs. American Apparel: Which Hipster Brand Is Most Ethical?

american-apparel-ad-alberta-swim-240707

I’ve had this blog for years and every month I get an itch to make it more streamlined. Thoughts of starting an editorial calendar dance in my head, but who am I kidding? My brain is about as organized as the basement of some sad sack on A&E’s Hoarders.

If I was more organized, I would make Friday my designated fashion and design day. In an attempt to accomplish that goal, I’m going to write about the most ridiculously hipster fashion topic I can think of:

Urban Outfitters

and

American Apparel.

Two clothing companies that the hip teen-through-thirty-somethings who think they are still teens love to shop at.

Full disclosure: I used to shop at both AND off and on worked at the latter (judge away!)

I no longer shop at Urban Outfitters for ethical reasons, however, I continue to support American Apparel, not because of some Kool-Aid allegiance I formed while working there (believe me, it’s NOT a perfect company), but because side-by-side, American Apparel is a more (more…)

April 12, 2013 by
Austin, Fashion/Design, Writing

Citygram: Austin’s Newest Interactive Digital Magazine

citygram_header_srgb2

There’s a new digital magazine on the scene!

Citygram, a new Austin lifestyle app created by Apartment Therapy writer Chris Perez, aims to bring some of Austin’s brightest, smartest and stylish writers straight to your Ipad.

Some of your favorite local personalities have teamed up with Citygram: Tolly Moseley from Austin Eavesdropper, Joanna Wilkinson from Keep Austin Stylish, Jess Simpson from Forgiving Martha, Amy Lynch from OneSmartPopTart, interior designer Sarah Stacey, artist Callen Thompson, Dr. Alex Carrasco and designer Chris McCray (p.s. I’m a contributor too!)

To learn more about this fun new venture, check out Citygram’s Kickstarter campaign and social media profiles:

 

April 11, 2013 by
Austin

Education Innovation: Austin’s PelotonU is Making Higher Education Debt-Free

pelotonu

Surrounded by people who have their Master’s degrees, I often feel like a friggin’ idiot toy with the idea of going back to school.

Until I think about all the debt I’ll accumulate, which is a soul-crushing thought since I’ll essentially be debt-free this year.

During undergrad, I was one of the lucky ones. College cost me next to nothing due to being raised in a single parent, low income household. If I didn’t get the aid and grants that I received, college would have been extremely difficult, maybe even impossible. Though my mother would have held a butter knife to my neck and forced me to go to college ensured I went to college, I would be tens of thousands of dollars more in debt.

College is not cheap, and with reports that high-skilled labor is on the decline, some speculate that higher education might not be worth the price tag (current average: $24,000).

With that being said, that is why the program I’m about to share with you is absolutely essential.

PelotonU is (more…)

April 10, 2013 by