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Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

What I Learned About Reality TV After Being on a Reality TV Show

I was once on a reality show.

I know. Nowadays that’s not so unique.

You actually have to crawl into a cave and live there for the rest of your life in order to avoid being filmed by reality show cameras. Except someone might tip a Hollywood producer about the person who moved into a cave to avoid reality show cameras, and they’ll want to document your life story.

Even in a relatively small city like Austin, it’s tough not to happen upon a reality show taping.

My reality show, which I will neither tell you the name of nor will it ever see the light of day ever again, was an interesting learning experience.

It taught me that reality shows are made up — even the ones you don’t think are made up (I’m a slow learner). It also taught me that I will never want to be on a reality show ever again. Not only is it a huge invasion of privacy, but you have such little control over how you are perceived.

The reality show I was on? I didn’t really have any say in whether or not I (more…)

Austin, Pop Culture

Have You Been to Austin? I Can’t Tell if the Locals are Rednecks or Junkies (Video)

This year, Geoff and I got to be a part of making official bumpers for SXSW. He directed them and I helped produce them (I also co-wrote one about furries beating up annoying badge holders). They played before screenings at SXSW Film along with bumpers made by local filmmaker Joe Nicolosi (you might remember him from last year’s mega hit  “Mario”), Zach Anner and New York-based filmmaker Lauren Wolkstein.

SXSW just made one of the bumpers by Nicolosi available on Youtube. It happens to star a favorite someone of mine (Geoff) and putting favoritism aside, I do think it’s pretty f’ing funny. Nicolosi has a real talent for comedy. Check out his Youtube channel here. The bumper pokes fun at a subject matter I talk frequently about- people from LA moving to Austin. I swear I didn’t grow a beard that long when I first moved here.

 

Pop Culture

The Little White Lies of Humor Writing

I’m a reader of nonfiction. For some reason I have terrible trouble engaging in fiction. I’ll read two pages of a fiction book and then promptly turn it into this: (ha)

This is similar to my love for documentary film these days.

I’m not sure why I enjoy learning more about reality than fantasy. It could be the reason why I’m in a perpetual state of panic all of the time. I remember distinctly curling up into a ball on the corner of the couch after watching the documentary “Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price” and crying for the future of the planet (this is actually true). If I read more fiction, I would maybe be a less anxious person. I’d believe in kid magicians and benevolent vampires instead of serial killers and tyrannical dictators.

When I read nonfiction, I do sometimes like reading light subject matters as well. Recently I finished Warren Zevon’s biography written by his ex-wife, Crystal, called, “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead: The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon“. (more…)

Film, Music, Pop Culture

R. Kelly Aims To Wow Your Panties Off With New Installment of Trapped in the Closet

 

I’ve been waiting for this news my entire life.

The next installment of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” will premiere on IFC next year.

If you’ve never seen the first 22 chapters of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”, I feel sorry for you. You’ve lived a sad and sheltered life.

“Trapped in the Closet” follows the dramatic tale of Sylvester (R. Kelly/narrator), Gwendolyn (Sylvester’s wife), Cathy (a lady Sylvester cheated with), Rufus (Cathy’s pastor husband), Chuck (Rufus’ lover), Big Man (a midget), Bridget (Big Man’s Southern wife) and Pimp Lucious (R.Kelly again) as they all cheat on, love on and point guns on each other. The characters are voiced by R.Kelly in a NEVER-ENDING, MIND-NUMBING CYCLE OF THE SAME SONG FOR 90 MINUTES STRAIGHT.

“Trapped in the Closet” falls under the cult classics that are so unbelievably f’ing terrible that they come across as brilliant. Believe me, after you watch “Trapped in the Closet”, R. Kelly will become your creative role (more…)

Austin, Writing

Blogging Bootcamp 101: Interested in Learning More About Blogging?

I’ve had Hipstercrite for over three years now.

I’ve watched it go from 10 visits PER WEEK to 10 visits every five minutes. Though my traffic is not in the big leagues just yet, it still boggles my mind that as many people read it as they do.

My blog was initially read by one friend and my parents (secretly). After I moved to Austin, the wonderful artists/thinkers/writers/social media stars took me with open arms and got my name out there. I won the Austin Blogger Awards’ “Blogger of the Year” title and have been offered a lot of freelance local (and non-local) writing work. Because of this, my blog grew. Since Austin is so closely connected to LA and NYC and I don’t solely write about Austin, half of my demographic is non-Austinites. During SXSW it completely blew me away when I introduced myself to strangers from out of town and they heard of my blog. I never imagined in a million years my writing would be read by people other than my parents.

I’m not saying this to toot my (more…)

Austin, Fashion/Design

Lovely Austin: Dressing Like Jackie O For Cheap

I’m not a fashionista, but I’ve always liked dressing nicely.

I don’t really care for the frowny-face, pigeon-toed, slumpy-shoulder hot mess look that is popular in fashion these days. I like streamline, sleek, well-made and classy.

Diane Keaton is my fashion icon and spirit animal.

I grew up in a family-owned clothing store, so wearing well-made clothing has always been a priority. Unfortunately, I’m at a point in my life where affording well-made clothing is not an option. I’m poor. And weak.

This is why I fell in love with boutique store, Lovely Austin.

Lovely Austin is a luxury vintage label consignment shop located on South 1st at Monroe in a darling converted 100 year-old home.

The second I walked into the store and spotted a James Coviello tailored ladies vest (which I later bought), I knew I would be spending hours in there. The vest fit me perfectly and it reminded me how wonderful high-end clothing is- they’re made to look good on you!

What makes this store (more…)

Hipstercrite Life

What I Hope To Find During My First Trip to Europe: My Boyfriend, John Stamos and Cheese

My post over at CultureMap today…

Today my boyfriend leaves for a three-month stay in Portugal. I’m not happy about it.

I’ve spent the past weeks devising a plan to run screaming out onto the tarmac in a rabbit costume before his plane leaves the gate. I figure that a rabbit costume is not threatening enough to get me detained but disorienting enough that the pilots will feel compelled to take reschedule the flight for the next day. Since I won’t want him to leave the next day either, I’ll have to keep doing this every day, which will be how the myth of the human-sized bunny of Austin-Bergstrom International Airport will emerge.

The one good thing about him heading to Europe is that I will have an excuse to visit, if I have the money.

Currently I have a mouth full of cavities and self-employment taxes I need to pay, but I think my mouth and livelihood can take a backseat to Europe, right? I mean, I’m young and I need to take these opportunities while I still can — even (more…)

Austin, Hipstercrite Life

The Death of Austin, Texas

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A scary realization came to me the other night while I was driving around looking for parking east of Interstate 35 to catch a screening downtown. East of I-35 (East Austin) is typically where I park if I go anywhere downtown; it’s much easier than fighting for or paying for parking.

As I parked deeper than I normally would on the eastside due to the chaos that is SXSW, the realization that parking on the eastside could one day no longer be free hit me like a ton of bricks. Flashbacks of paying hundreds of dollars a year in parking meters, permits and parking tickets in Los Angeles came flooding back.

This may sound like a trivial concern, but it lead to the larger question that had been dancing in my brain while I battled thousands of people through the streets, sidewalks, events and stores as I wandered through SXSW- how much is Austin changing and is it for the better or worse?

I overheard a few rumblings from locals during the film and interactive portion of SXSW that (more…)

Austin, Film, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Does SXSW Give You Anxiety?!

Does SXSW give you ragin’ anxiety like it does for me?

I have something to clear off my flat chest.

After all this talk of blogging about SXSW- I can’t do it.

You know why?

Because I’ve already fizzled out.

My little motor has died and I already buried it in the backyard along with the feral cats of East Austin.

I don’t care enough about the hottest app, movie, party or show and scrambling back to regurgitate it all to you. I pretended like I cared a lot, but I’m realizing I don’t. Maybe that makes me a bad blogger, journalist or social media whore, but so be it.

When you live in Austin and work in or around the creative industries, you feel as though you’re supposed to squeeze SXSW by the nuts and get every last drop out of ’em. As a writer, screenwriter and social media nerd, it would be silly for me not to take full advantage of the festival, right? To go on 3 hours sleep every night, be drunk most of the time and trying to nudge my way into the hottest parties, (more…)