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20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Welcoming the End of the Quarter Life Crisis

2012 marks the last year of my twenties.

Previously, saying that made me collapse into a fit of inconsolable defeat. Once, on the phone with my father about my car being paid off when I’m 30, I fell to the floor during the middle of the conversation. All it took was me saying, “Well, when I’m 30…” and my brain processed that as someone taking a bat to the back of my knees. My father heard heaving gasps on the other line and waited for my two minute bawl fest to conclude before daring to continue the topic at hand.

I never thought I’d make it past 29. Not because I have a craving for horse tranquilizers or a death wish obsession with Kurt Cobain, but because it seemed nearly impossible to imagine a life past that. My brain simply would shut down when thinking about my 30s. Or maybe, much like the Mayans, my internal calendar simply stops on 2012. Being an only child of divorce, I never planned out my future to include things like marriage and children, so a life after 30 seemed (more…)

January 3, 2012 by
Hipstercrite Life

Big Sky, Big Country

As a freelancer, taking a vacation when you’re supposed to is kind of terrifying, but I gave in to the fact that there wouldn’t be much work to do over the holidays and tried to enjoy my time off. I managed to succeed! Though I was unable to go home to visit my family, I spent the holidays with my boyfriend and his wonderful family. I have a trip planned home at the end of January ($200 round-trip ticket to Upstate New York on Southwest!), so I’ll definitely get some family time in soon and Grandma can stop using here Jewish guilt powers to make me feel bad about it.

Though Texas is a big ass state, one of the beauties of it is its proximity to other cool areas. Along with my boyfriend’s cousin and her boyfriend, we snuck over to Santa Fe for a few days last week. Driving through the American Southwest is one of the most cathartic trips one can experience. I’ve driven alone and with friends or family through the Southwest countless times now and I always love it. Living in cities for (more…)

January 2, 2012 by
Austin, Hipstercrite Life

I Wasn’t Born in Texas, But I Got Here at an Average Speed

Oh man, did it feel good to stay away from the computer this weekend!
I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and that most of you are still on break and not at work reading this post.
Wanted to share with you last Friday’s CultureMap post. It meant a lot to me. It’s about the the generous and familial culture in Texas and how inspiring and comforting it is.
I hope I don’t offend any of my fellow Upstate New Yorkers here. I think you’ll get what I mean…

I Wasn’t Born in Texas, But I Got Here at an Average Speed

I’m a Yankee. Born and raised in the armpit of the Rust Belt. In the land of fallen big box giants, frost-bitten morale and Wonder Bread tans.

I have not lived in the North in over seven years, but one can never really change where they’re from, right? Where you were born is in your blood. Always.
The fact that I’m a Yankee is not something I advertise, but it’s difficult to hide when you develop instant heartburn just looking at Polvo’s salsa. The sweat on your (more…)

December 26, 2011 by
Pop Culture

Super Last Minute Hipster Holiday Gift Guide

If you’re anything like me, you wait ’til the last minute for everything. That means you haven’t gotten anything for anyone for Christmas yet.

That makes me sound like an ungrateful brat, but the truth is, I’m poor. And lazy. However, I did send out my X-mas cards already so I’m golden in the eyes of the elderly ones in my family.

But what about you’re uber-hip peers? What do you get them last minute?

Let’s pretend it’s not 5 days before Christmas and let’s pretend that you have ample time to order holidays gifts online. Or that you have a butt load of money to pay for super fast shipping. Here are some gift suggestions for the hipster friends or the hipster friends who claim they’re not hipsters in your life.

Who doesn’t need a Dolly Parton faux black velvet poster? Who? WHO?! TELL ME! I don’t even care much for Dolly Parton but she looks smokin’ in this poster. Print by artist Kii Arens, $40 at La La Land Posters.

Did you know that Talking Heads has a new doc out? Did (more…)

December 21, 2011 by
Music, Pop Culture

Callin’ Oates- The 24/7 Emergency Hall & Oates Hotline

Are you in the need for some emergency Hall &  Oates croonin’? Do you need the sweet sweet tones of Daryl Hall to soothe your troubles away? Want the audio equivalent of some Oates mustache tickling your nose? Well fear no further!

Callin’ Oates- the 24/7 Emergency Hall & Oates hotline is at your service.

Dial 719-26-OATES and you’ll be given the healing gift of listening to #1″One on One”, #2 “Rich Girl”, #3 “Maneater” or #4 “Private Eyes”.

It’s free and legit. An experiment by Twilio.

I’m taking a bath with my rotary phone to “Private Eyes” right now.

(via  MSNBC)

December 21, 2011 by
Film, Hipstercrite Life

Being Friends With An Acquitted Murderer (and B-List Actor) Is Not Easy

Some of you guys might be familiar with this story for I’ve broached the topic of me being friends with an acquitted murderer/b-list actor before. If you’re not familiar with it, check out my story over at CultureMap. Murder, sex and purple pearl snap shirts. Such a wonderful children’s story for the Holidays.

Being Friends With An Acquitted Murderer (and B-List Actor) Is Not Easy

12.16.11 | 12:05 pm

I was once friends with an acquitted murderer-slash-B-list actor.

He was a sad man, but I guess that shouldn’t be surprising. The sort of man who spent Thanksgiving alone, eating a grocery store rotisserie chicken in the woods of Ojai, California.

The sort of man who owned nothing but a couch, a bed, a guitar and the photos of his long forgotten career taped to his wall.

The sort of man who has no friends.

The sort of man who lived like the characters he portrayed.

The sort of man where you couldn’t tell if he was acting in real life or not.

I met the (more…)

December 16, 2011 by
Film, Music, Pop Culture

Hipstercrite Round-Up: Bitches Be Crazy Edition

  • (music) Did you know that Talking Heads has a new documentary called “Chronology” out? Yeah, neither did. That one kind of slipped under the rug. NPR gives you a first look at the new doc that chronnicles the band’s live performances from their early days playing at CBGB’s all the way up to the last time they played as a foursome at the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame in 2002. The film is available on Amazon for $19.99 (NPR All Songs Considered)
  • (music) All aboard the P.P. Love Letter (@Monbud came up with that one,  I’m not that funny)! R. Kelly has got himself a cruise ship. He’s going to sing to you on that cruise ship. Then he’s going to lock everyone in the closet. This premise sounds like the beginning of a snuff film. (A.V. Club)
  • (film) Ever wonder what the hell happened to Mike Myers? Well your fears of what he could have possibly been doing during that time of isolation is true: he’s making an Austin Powers musical. Goes to show that even comic geniuses run out of (more…)
December 15, 2011 by
Writing

Newt Gingrich’s Attack on Poor Children: A Poor Family’s Perspective

Over the past two weeks I’ve noticed a lot of social media anger and teasing directed towards Rick Perry’s recent “Strong” commercial wherein he gripes about gays being able to serve openly in the military but children not being allowed to pray publicly in school.  Around the same time another Republican made an equally prejudice and cruel comment regarding “really poor children, in really poor neighborhoods [who] have no habits of working and have nobody around them who works”, the “stupidity” of child labor laws, and the idea that poor children should become janitors in their schools. I’m surprised that Newt Gingrich’s speech hasn’t created as strong of an outrage considering how completely insensitive and ridiculous the speech was. When I first heard quotes from his speech on NPR, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was it a joke? How could somebody be so thoughtless and downright mean?

I took particular offense to Gingrich’s speech because I came from what one could call a (more…)

December 15, 2011 by
Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

For the Love of the Lady Mustache

Yesterday I wrote about beauty in the media and how we compare and contrast. I made a little footnote on Facebook that I still dig Zooey Deschanel’s peach fuzz ‘stache. It appeared that you did too. A lot. You freaky mo-fo’s.

Because of your fetish for the lady fuzz, I decided to write a post in honor of the female mustache. The womanly whiskers. The lip caterpillar. The Man Tickler. The Wo. The Frida. The Lady Grimley.

If you Google “Lady Mustache” or “Female Mustache” you don’t find a lot of  appropriate photos (however, in that search you will find a picture of me as Freddie Mercury considered a facial hair “fail”), but you do find glossy magazine articles advising you on how to get rid of the pesky lip creature. Shave it, bleach it, wax it, rat trap it, stick your face in a boiling hot pot of water and scrape it off your face with a pumice rock. Everyone hatin’ on the lady ‘stache, but why?

Oh, because they’re fucking terrifying? Sure, I won’t argue with you there.

But (more…)

December 14, 2011 by
Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

Beauty in the Media and Why We Constantly Compare and Contrast

The other day, I came across a Buzzfeed article titled ‘10 Scary Celebrity Close-Ups‘. In it, we are gifted extreme close-ups of celebs such as Katy Perry, Zooey Deschanel and Jennifer Aniston. I’ll be honest, the article brought some joy to my life after discovering a giant pimple forming in the middle of my forehead. Whoa! Look at Zooey Deschanel’s peach fuzz ‘stache! I found myself saying. Hot damn! Katy Perry looks like a wax figure! I giggled with delight. I secretly hated myself for thinking such things, but it felt oh so good to see these revealing photos.

But why? Why did it feel so damn good?

Even as someone who worked behind the camera and saw firsthand that celebs are human beings too, it’s still difficult not to compare and contrast when seeing photos of polished and perfect celebrities. Their skin always flawless, their thighs cellulite-free, their stomachs flat and toned and their hair always perfect. And even though we have nice reminders that is indeed not always (more…)

December 13, 2011 by