Film, Pop Culture

An Open Letter to the Kids in the Hall

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Hey, feel free to pass this on to any of the Kids in the Hall if you know them. 

Dear Kevin, Dave, Scott, Mark, and Bruce,

I’m a grown woman. I’m 27 years old now. I’m at the age where I would have finally figured out how to balance my checkbook properly if we still used checkbooks.

However, something happened to me when I watched your new show Death Comes to Town yesterday. I resorted back into pubescent 15 year-old nerd girl who used to make Headcrusher home movies in her basement instead of hanging out with kids her own age. The dweeb who used to fantasize about Bruce McCulloch’s little man dance jerks instead of Justin Timberlake’s not little-man dance jerks. The kid who anxiously fidgeted on the school bus ride home every day, contemplating what back-to-back episodes of Kids in the Hall were recording on the VCR and what flavor of Hot Pocket she was going to gorge herself with..

While enjoying your latest production, I could distinctly recall (more…)

February 15, 2011 by
20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Try a Little Tenderness

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“I haven’t been in love in a long, long time,” she said to herself in the best Otis Redding impression she could muster up. Heightened emphasis on the first “long.” Eight ‘o’s’.

“I haven’t been in love in a loooooooong, long time,” she kept repeating just enough so the purpose behind the sentence meant nothing anymore.

“Hell, I’m not even sure I’ve ever been in love,” she laughs to herself. “I’ve been in infatuation and then something thereafter, I think?”

This prompts her to sing the Rod Stewart song of the same name, but it’s not as enjoyable as her made-up Otis song.

She takes a moment to think back on them all.

It started with Adam. He was the only one to run the course of infatuation, to post-infatuation, to end of the road.

Adam is married and lives in Kansas City and has a second baby on the way. Three weeks after he ended their four year relationship seven years ago, she stopped thinking about him. It scared her how quickly she got over (more…)

February 14, 2011 by
Film, Pop Culture

Another 7 Indie Valentine’s Day Movies You Should Watch

Yesterday I posted my top 8 favorite indie romantic comedies/dramas for Valentine’s Day. The truth is the list started out as 12, then got chiseled down to 10, then down to 8. Sometimes I get tired of writing a post. Sometimes I look at my post and I resent it and I don’t want to write it anymore and I want to whisper how much I hate it into it’s ear if it had an ear. That’s how a list goes from 12 down to 8.

However, yesterday’s list did not accurately relay my favorite indie romcoms and romdras and so many wonderful readers pointed out quintessential films that I missed entirely. I wanted to continue the list with Another Top 7 Indie Romantic Films That I Got Too Exhausted to Talk About in Yesterday’s Post.

And, yes I know some of these movies aren’t actually indies. Like I mentioned yesterday, “indie” is the code word for “hipster”. I just didn’t want to overuse the word “hipster” this week (though it’s used maybe nine 900 hundred times in this post).

Enjoy!

1.) Say Anything (more…)

February 11, 2011 by
Film, Pop Culture

Top 8 Indie Valentine’s Day Movies

Indie being a code term for “hipster”. I already used up my one allotted use of the word “hipster” this week.

Many of these films aren’t even indies, but they are just quirky enough to earn a place in the hearts of millions of pretentious young people like myself.

So, in honor of Valentine’s Day and with a little help from my friend Levi, here are the top 8 best indie/alternative/hipster romantic movies for the death-obsessing, mixtape-making, Smiths-loving couples out there.

1.) Harold and Maude (1971)
Harold and Maude chronicles quite possibly one of the most unconventional, but beautiful relationships captured in contemporary film. Directed by a dude with one of the coolest old-man name’s, Hal Ashby (Shampoo, Being There), this ground-breaking film follows the May-December romance of the young and somber Harold and the Jurassic and vivacious Maude. Harold comes from a wealthy family and he’s bored with it all… and really into death. The 1970’s goth kid came in the garb of (more…)

February 10, 2011 by
20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

This Must be the Place


Sunday was a quiet and simple day.

The sort of day that every person looks forward to. Sunny, warm, and sweet.

I wandered around the house pondering what to do. I was bored and feeling completely stalled.

Boredom blurs the lines of content and ambivalence.

I paced the house, I picked up and moved an object or two, I sat down, I stood up, I did 8 push-ups, I turned on the TV, I turned it off, I listened to 2 1/2 minutes of a song, I turned it off.

Finally, I stood in the doorway and looked down at the ground. Seven years ago, I thought, seven years ago this behavior would have culminated into me having a drink, me writing a bunch of nonsensical lament in my notebook, crying, then falling asleep fully clothed with streaks of mascara running down my face.

I was 20 then. I was in a new city. I knew no one. I worked 24/7. I felt utterly and completely alone. I was bored. I paced the house. I overthought. I discovered that I had insecurities. I had my heart broken by adults. (more…)

February 8, 2011 by
Pop Culture

Hipster Valentine’s Day Gift Guide 2011

Last year I wrote a 2-part Hipster Valentine’s Day Gift Guide that people seemed to dig. (Pt. 1 and Pt. 2)

Well, I guess it’s that mo-fo’ing time again, so here is this year’s Hipster Valentine’s Gift Guide.

Enjoy!

1.) I Luff You Annie Hall Print– This is the perfect gift for the significant other you’re just too socially awkward and narcissistic to actually say ‘I Love You’ to. The print, designed by Mike Oncley, is one of my favorite finds on Etsy. This is one in a series of Annie Hall prints and they’re all beautiful. $20 and $40

2.) Just Kids by Patti Smith– Cause nothing says, “Baby, I might be gay- like really gay- but you’re still my soul mate” more than Patti Smith’s Just Kids. I know this book has been out for awhile, but if your girl hasn’t read it yet, it might be time to give it to her so she can stop being in denial about why you like to shove whips up your butt. $6.98

3.) Love Letter by R. Kelly-Unfortunately significantly less dirty that R. Kelly’s previous jams, this album is (more…)

February 7, 2011 by
Music, Pop Culture

Top 4 Songs About Messed Up Relationships

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, which means who gives a shit?

It’s a day for grade-schoolers who are clueless about heartbreak and disappointment and women who send flowers to themselves. For people to buy bottom shelf chocolate for their significant others that will get half eaten and for men to coerce their ladies into having sex with them for the first time in months.

This time of year the TV and radio is littered with cheesy rom-coms and sappy love songs. I dig the cheese fest just as much as the rest of you all, but sometimes it gets old. There really is only so much alone time you can spend with a Marvin Gaye tune, a bottle of wine, a photo of Ryan Gosling above your bed, and a lot of concentration. Not everyone has a significant other on Valentine’s Day. Some people just got dumped. Some people are going through a divorce. Some people are with a partner they resent and despise. Where is their holiday, huh?

So in honor of anti-Valentine’s Day, I’d like to list my top (more…)

February 4, 2011 by
Film, Pop Culture

The Dude Who Played Fredo

Or the retarded brother in The Godfather.
That’s probably what you know him as.
“Oh, the guy with the huge forehead? The one that Mickey has whacked out on the boat? (whoops, just gave that away) The Buster Bluth of the Corleone Family? You mean, that guy?”

No. He’s not that guy.

Shame on you. He’s so much more than a big foreheaded, dead retarded brother.

He was John Cazale and he was awesome.

John Cazale had been a fascination of mine ever since I saw The Godfather when I was 15. Here was this guy acting alongside some of the best actors of the past 75 years and I had no idea who he was. Then I saw him in Dog Day Afternoon and I thought, “What the f happened to this guy?” He was in the same league as heavyweights like Pacino, Brando, and DeNiro and he just simply disappeared. He was in some of the greatest movies of the 1970’s and by many accounts, of all time. So what happened to him? I thought, “Awwww shit! This guy’s career must have taken a nosedive after the 70’s (more…)

February 3, 2011 by
Hipstercrite Life, Music

I Died While Listening to an Arcade Fire Song.


I died while listening to an Arcade Fire song.
It seems apropos, really.
I always secretly wished I’d go out to an epic swell in A minor.
The life soundtrack equivalent to the ending of a Six Feet Under episode.

I wasn’t thinking about anything truly important that moment. The thought that Funeral still remains far superior to any subsequent album released by the band crossed my mind.
Visualizing the dress I was going to be wearing to the dinner on Friday was fighting for the preliminary spot in my brain. I wanted something long and sleek, black…or maybe teal! I was into teal the months leading up to my death.

What I was thinking about foremost was getting home. Home being a relative term, I’m discovering now. What I wanted then was warmth from the cold air. To take off my skirt, put on some sweatpants, and watch that Ryan Reynolds movie sitting in the DVD player. But my actual home will forever exist in the memories of my childhood. The place I grew up. The house my parents (more…)

February 2, 2011 by
Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Blink: Or What You Can Tell Just By Looking at Her Room

So, I started reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink because I couldn’t find Outliers at the used book store and I refuse to pay full price for the Outliers at a new book store even though I’m in the market for a book to COMPLETELY CHANGE MY LIFE. I don’t think that is going to happen with Blink, but I did learn an interesting tidbit or two. In Blink, Gladwell BEATS US OVER THE FREAKIN’ HEAD with the idea of trusting your instincts and taking heed in first impressions.
He mentions that a lot can be said about a person just by scanning their bedroom. He proves his point by describing an experiment where the personality traits of 80 students were judged by their closest friends and complete strangers who scanned their dorm rooms for 15 minutes. What the mastermind of the experiment- psychologist Samuel Gosling- found is that the strangers did an equally successful job at describing people they never met.
How can this be?
Well, Gosling says that “a person’s bedroom gives three kinds of (more…)
February 1, 2011 by