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20-Something, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Best U.S. Cities For Young People

Last week, Forbes released their annual “Best Cities For Young Adults” list and guess who was number one?

GUESS RIGHT NOW!

Yes, it was Austin, Texas. The lovely city where beer grows on trees and we all live in a perpetual state of twenty-something whether we’re thirty-something or forty-something. Austin is like adult Disneyland- if Mickey stumbled through the park drunk, unshaven, and stroking his Stratocaster.

Besides the demographic of man-children running amok, this city truly does have a lot to offer young people. Employment at fun and innovative small business-like corporations such as Whole Foods, Sweet Leaf Tea and Gowalla, more film, art and music events than one can count on their appendages, a vibrant culture, and really really good-looking people.

Four Texas cities made it on Forbes’ list (Austin No. 1, Houston No. 2, Dallas No. 6, and San Antonio No. 9) New York, Chicago, Denver, Seattle, Atlanta, Minneapolis-St.Paul rounded out the rest. These are all good choices, (more…)

Writing

In Times of Creative Block, Act Like Your Idols

When I get stressed out, much like a dudebro drunk on whiskey, inspiration and creativity is not something that comes easily.

In fact, my brain just completely shuts down. During these times, I often find myself standing wide-eyed and dumbfounded when people are talking to me. You may even find me hovering in the grocery store staring at the same three shelves of salad dressings for about fifteen minutes, completely immobile. This may have more to do with the fact that there are now 400 types of salad dressings to chose from when grocery shopping and not a temporary neurological malfunction.

When I begin imitating a mentally challenged person by accident, I try to think of my idols. Having idols is important. Having heroes are important. Having people that you dress up as and fantasize about before going to sleep is important.

I’ve accumulated a lot of idols in my years. Some have left me- Beetlejuice, Elton John circa 1974, Dana Scully. Some have stayed-Woody Allen, Pee-Wee Herman, Frank (more…)

Film, Music, Pop Culture

Holiday Gift Ideas for the Disgustingly Rich

Say that money wasn’t an issue this holiday season. Say you could buy your loved one anything they wanted- like Vincent Gallo’s sperm or va-jay-jay perfume. What would you buy them?? If you’re loaded with moola and have no shame in spending flagrant amounts of money for no reason, here is your must-have holiday gift list below!

1.) Delorean Time Machine Conversion $23,999– I don’t even think this price includes the car. It costs $24,000 simply to have two nerds adhere some plastic tubes and a non-working flux capacitor to your Delorean. For that much money, they better include Marty McFly, George McFly, and Doc Brown blow-up dolls so I can finally live-out my…never mind.

2.) True Blood Vampire Survival Kit $699- For almost $700 you will receive: (1) Condom, (1) Lollipop, (1) Vial of fake blood and syringe, and (1) Thing of “Vamp-Aids”. With the impending take-over of vampires in the near future, this purchase seems like a sound investment to me. This underwear worn by Alexander Skarsgard (more…)

Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Holiday Gift Ideas for the Semi-Indigent

We’re all broke. Unless you’re that asshole who is not. If so, then maybe you should stop reading my blog and start contributing financially, huh?

I certainly know that I’m broke. And not even in the, “I really have some dough set aside but am telling everyone that I can’t afford to do Christmas gifts this year” broke. Every single penny is accounted for. Except for the ones spent on ridiculous amounts of grocery store sushi.

If you’re anything like me, then you probably are wondering how you can show your love to friends and family outside of giving them a pat on the back and saying, “Thank you for looking after me when I can’t even look after myself.” Below is my list of super inexpensive gift ideas for the holidays.

1.) Pickling– I showed you yesterday how to pickle the living crap out of peppers. Who doesn’t love pickles? Who? WHO?!? Tell me right now and I will beat you with this rotten cucumber that didn’t make the next batch of pickling. You can pickle anything, really. Peppers, cucumbers, (more…)

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

How to Pickle: Or Giving the Gift of Botulism for Christmas

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had a habit of getting whims and quickly losing interest in them. Working much like a fast-moving disease, I’d tell my mother, “Mom, I’ve got the whims today!” and she would smile at me while quietly counting how many minutes it would take for me to discard whatever project I lugged out and splayed across the living room floor.

I’ve finished very few things in my life- screenplays, college, a beer, The Big Lebowski– but when I do, boy, is it a time for celebration!

Last weekend I started and finished making pickled peppers- and managed to not kill anyone in the process. Yet. At least I don’t think?

In terms of level of difficulty making pickled peppers is not hard- you buy the ingredients, you boil them, you pour them over peppers, you seal the jar- but the process can be long and boring for a young gal who is easily distracted by rays of light and cat noises off in the distance, so this accomplishment was a mighty, mighty achievement.

The (more…)

Pop Culture

Top 5 Sexy Boy Nerds

I always loved the nerds. Geeks. Squares. Hell, my grade school boyfriend was named Emerson R. Avery III. You know what he wanted to be when he grew up? An archaeologist. You know what he is now doing for a career? Archaeology.

When my eight year-old self wasn’t daydreaming about Emerson digging in the desert Indiana Jones-style, I was lusting after Doc Brown, Egon Spengler, and Ian Malcolm. If you wore a lab coat or had thick glasses I wanted you. Badly.

Much hasn’t changed since those days of awkwardly positioning Jeff Goldblum’s action figure to straddle my pillow at night, except for discovering that I’m not alone in my sentiment for the intellectual/book-worm/only-have-had-sex-with-Dana-Scully-blow-up-doll type. In fact, since folks like Will.i.am and Justin Timberlake started rocking the nerd look, items like horn-rimmed glasses, cardigans, and bow-ties are considered the rage in men’s fashion.

So in honor of the guys who have 20/40 vision and relate better to insects than human beings, (more…)

20-Something, Fashion/Design, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

What is Beauty?

The other night I ran into a friend at a popular bar on the east side of Austin. Like many east sides of major cities, the neighborhood is where a number of artsy and irreverent kids hang out. And by artsy and irreverent I mean don’t have jobs. The friend was describing to me how difficult it often is to frequent such scenes where every single girl is particularly hip and beautiful looking. They’re the sort of women that could make one feel conscious of their subconscious need to up the ante. Their eyes couldn’t be any doe-ier, their noses any smaller, or their body fat any less a negative number. They look like Kate Moss circa 1993 and they know it. You in turn pout your lips a little further out, turn your toes in a little more in attempt to beat out their Lookbook go-to stance, and walk across the bar as though floating in slow-motion through your own personal music video when seeing these sort of girls.

In other words, it’s one giant contest of who is the most noticeable.

Though (more…)

Writing

This is How We Walk on the Moon

In a whirlwind development, I was offered a much desired job yesterday, which means I have to be on my best behavior on the ol’ blog today. No talking about the time my friend confused me for a homeless person on Venice Beach. No talking about fantasizing over a shirtless picture of Elton John as a thirteen year-old girl. No posting pictures of my butt cheek. No talking about how I like to glue chest hair to my body. Because all those things make me look weird.
Last night my computer became infected with a virus so I was not able to write a post. Please forgive my recycling, but the post below is pertinent to current events in my life.
A project recently fell into my lap that has me calling on an old acquaintance. This acquaintance is a bit of a hermit (you’ll see why below), so I’m in the process of writing him a letter to initiate contact.
The post below was based off a brief nostalgic trigger that occurred in August 2009 of an event that happened in November of 2007.
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Writing

Hipster Holiday Gift Guide 2010 Pt. 1

It’s that time of year again! That time of year to buy a super ironic gift for the super pretentious someone in your life.
Below are ideas for my friends to give to their super pretentious friend living in Austin, Texas.

1.) This is one of my favorite finds. Artist Mike Oncley created a series of adorable 14 X 11 Annie Hall prints. Line them up on your wall, stare at them really hard and maybe you’ll find your mantra. Etsy $20

2.) So, I didn’t get to go to The Pee-Wee Herman Show in LA or NYC, but that doesn’t mean I’m still not saving myself for PW. What better way to say, “I have zero sex life because I fantasize about cultural icons from my childhood” than a Pee-Wee Herman purity ring?? Pee-Wee Herman Store $20

3.) Let’s just take all the work and originality out of being a photographer and add a fisheye, macro, or wide angle lens to our iPhones? What do you say? Photojojo $20-$40

4.) You know what? I’m sick of seeing mustaches everywhere. Lord knows I love a good mustache like any other (more…)

Writing

Austin Loves The F Out Of Blogging

It comes as no surprise to me that Austin, Texas is the top city for blogging. I learned this the other day while reading UT student Brittney Simmons’ article about local Austin blogs. I know for one that my blog would not be where it is today without the support of other Austin bloggers. The blogging community here is unlike anything I have ever experienced. We give out awards! We have parties! We write articles about each other! It’s pretty mind-blowing, really. I feel extremely lucky to live in such a creatively supportive city. So deprived was I of genuine human contact in Los Angeles that I still often find myself tearing up over beautiful moments of altruism, kindness, and encouragement that I experience or witness on a daily basis in this wonderful city.

As I mentioned the other day, and which I still can’t believe, Hipstercrite is nominated in three categories at the Austin Blogger Awards. I already follow a good chunk of Austin blogs, but reading the list of nominees introduced (more…)