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SXSW Survival Gear

You’re in Austin.

You’re about to see an ass load of indie bands perform out of every nook and cranny of this city.
It’s 95 degrees, then it suddenly hails, then it goes back to 95 degrees with a humidity index of 99%.
You spot a boy who wears a smaller jean size than you and you are determined to make out with him by the end of the night.
It’s late, you’re drunk off of Lone Stars because you only had seven breakfast tacos about twelve hours ago, and you have blisters lining the bottom of your feet.
These are questions and scenarios that will arise this week during SXSW.
Don’t be unprepared!
Follow my survival guide list below and you’re sure to have a worth-while and healthy SXSW experience.
1.) The Fanny Pack– Fuck purses. Who said these ever went out of style? WHO? TELL ME! I recommend the American Apparel shiny denim fanny pack in royal blue because it’s awe-inspiring. Look at it. LOOK AT IT! Pretty.

2.) A Pair of Tom’s Shoes– Never mind. These hipster staples are like having a thin layer of (more…)
March 16, 2010 by
Writing

The Day I Realized I Was a Hipster


Not that long ago, I received an email from an Austin-based musician very eloquently sharing with me the day he realized he was a hipster. His words were poignant, describing his realization as though he was suddenly inflicted with an incurable disease- Hipstermystalacosis.

I related to his story and I think you will too.

When I was thirteen and running around in suspenders and non-prescription eyeglasses, I knew there was a name for me. For years I fought the label, but gave up my denial of being a hipster when I christened the name of my blog Hipstercrite.

Now when someone calls me a hipster, I shake my head in agreement. I am a hipster and probably always will be.

Hipsters, stand up tall! Unite!

Dear Lauren,

I’ve been an admirer of your page for a few months. I was linked through “TapeBombs,” a music blog run by an acquaintance of mine.


Like you, I am dangerously preoccupied with hipsterism and spend a good deal of my day confronting the issue. The reason I am mailing is because I think (more…)

March 15, 2010 by
Austin

Austintacious

Hey Everyone,
Things are kind of nutty here with SXSW, so while I work on a bunch of posts for next week, please read a little love letter I wrote to Austin a few months ago.

Stopped at a traffic light last Friday afternoon, I glanced up at a familiar restaurant marquee that usually carried a quip relating to the latest music festival/bike rally/music rally/bike festival in Austin that week. However, this time the words bore a different sentiment: “Go Texas! Win it for Leslie!” The light turned green and I found myself driving south down Congress Avenue with tears pooling at the bottom of my eyelids.
Every Austinite knows who Leslie is. He is the city mascot. The epitome of what makes Austin unique. For those who do not know him, Leslie Cochran is a homeless man who wears a leopard print thong. He has run for city mayor multiple times and has been reviewed 53 times on Yelp. He is an extremely articulate and sweet-natured man. No one has a bad thing to say about Leslie.

Which is why (more…)

March 12, 2010 by
Writing

East Side 4 Eva

Everyone ought to have a Lower East Side in their life- Irving Berlin
The East Side has typically been synonymous with art, culture, history, and grit.
When we venture through LES in NYC or Wicker Park in Chicago or Silver Lake in Los Angeles, we feel like we’ve stepped back into time, that we’re not necessarily welcome, and that at any moment something wonderful or terrible might happen.
This also goes for Austin’s east side. A vibrant and fascinating part of the city, Eastside boasts eclectic eateries, trendy bars, and dozens of notable art galleries all maintaining the feel of a bygone era.
Chances are you’ll be spending some time over on the Eastside during SXSW and if so, you might want to know where to eat (if you aren’t stuffed full of free breakfast tacos supplied at the parties).
Here is a list of some of the best East Austin restaurants, cafes, and bars:

Best Pizza: East Side Pies 1401 Rosewood Ave.
Many will say that Homeslice on SoCo is the best pizza in Austin, but they’re embarrassingly (more…)
March 11, 2010 by
Writing

Fashion Find- Master & Servant

Do you have that one dress, one pair of hot pants, or that one hat that always compels people to stop you, grab you arm, and say in a low voice, “Where on Earth did you get that?”
Well I just found me a pair of socks that garnered lots of comments at Whole Foods yesterday (’cause you have to look good when you go to Whole Foods).
And an awkward run-in with a security guard at Wells Fargo.
The security guard was sitting on a bench, and I think she quietly said, “I like your boots” (meaning she liked my awesome kick-ass lace-up slippers) as I walked by. I didn’t quite hear what she said, so I turned and gave a slight smile. The sort of smile that says, “I have no idea if you were talking to me or not, but here, here is a half smile to sort of acknowledge what you said”. I started obsessing over whether or not she was talking to me and I started to sweat. I wanted to walk up to her and say, “Thank you!”, but the time for that had past and I started to rock back and forth in line. When I left (more…)
March 10, 2010 by
Austin

Welcome to Austin, SXSWers!

First post in my Austin, TX series for SXSW
It’s that time of year again.
The time of year where you stock up on your Adderall or Xanax or Xantac or horse tranquilizers and set your Facebook tagged photos to private.
South by Southwest Interactive and Film will be starting this Friday, with the music portion beginning next Wednesday.
What does that mean for you?
That means your chances of getting drunk with Bill Murrary or hooking up with a hipster from Brooklyn who is in a band with the words “bear”, “deer”, “neon”, “gold”, or “black” in it have just improved.
If you’re new to Austin, here is a list of traits that make our town so unique. Come and join the fun!

1.) The entire city collectively waits with bated breath for the Groupon of the day.

2.) At anytime in anyplace, your chances of hearing New Order playing on the sound system are 2 to 1.

3.) We treat music festivals like national holidays (and we really don’t have a choice).
4.) Overhear conversations that start with, (person looking (more…)
March 9, 2010 by
Writing

Taxidermy and You

The South by Southwest Festival in Austin, TX will be starting this Friday.
I plan on devoting most of the week to Austin and SXSW posts.
However, I haven’t written a single thing yet!
In the meantime, please enjoy this gallery of Maurizio Cattelan’s work.
I learnt of Cattelan this weekend while in Houston. The Menil Collection is currently exhibiting some of his pieces. I’m still brewing what I think about him.
What are your thoughts?








March 8, 2010 by
Writing

Twelve Ways To Boost Your Blog Traffic (Without Having to Get Naked)

You have nine followers, and one of them is your mother.
You wonder why the hell you’re even blogging.
You speculate if anyone will ever read your words.
You ponder if life is worth living.
Well look no further!
Listed below are twelve sure-fire ways to drive traffic to your blog and instantly boost your self-worth.

1.) Join Blogging Network Sites– The best blog networking website is Twenty-Something Bloggers. Hands down. Joining 20sb opened up a whole new world for me. Before then, I had no idea how to discover other blogs. 20sb is a supportive and strong community of like-minded bloggers. I can’t recommend it enough. Other blogging networks include Blog Lovin‘, Blog Her, BlogCatalog, and My Blog Log.

2.) Write Interesting Content– As much as want to go into great detail about your recent trip to the dentist or how you wrapped your Christmas gifts, refrain from it. Truthfully, nobody cares. Unless the dentist had a boner while performing your root canal or you lobbed off your finger while cutting (more…)
March 5, 2010 by
Writing

The Apartment Life

“I really wish you would settle down….at least a little bit,” my Mom snuck into the middle of our conversation.

“Mom. What does that have to do with the closing ceremony of the Olympics?”
“I mean, really. It’s time for you to find a real apartment.”
She was right.
Having just escaped a living situation that dealt with five dead mice, a housemate who was escorted out by the police, and a boisterous and jealous 70 year-old landlord who refused to lock up the house, I couldn’t agree with her more.
Even my Grandmother chastised me recently for filling up a full page in her address book.
“I keep writing down and crossing out addresses, Lauren! When is this going to stop? I don’t want to go onto a second page. It looks messy!”
When I first moved to Los Angeles I wanted to nest.
I wanted the old Hollywood apartment with the brick walls and the earthquake reinforcement beams protruding through the hardwood floors. I wanted to stand at my window and overlook Los Angeles and feel inhabitantly superior (more…)
March 4, 2010 by
Writing

Adventures of a Part-Time Floor Associate at a Hipster Clothing Store


I’ve worked over six full-time years in the film business. I’ve also managed to work two part-time years, on-and-off, at a controversial hipster clothing store and that fact SCARES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME. One time I was leaving work and someone shouted from a passing van, “Fuck you hipster!” and I nodded my head in agreement.

One of the reasons why I continue to work at the hipster clothing store (Besides working with some pretty cool people- Yes! We actually smile and ask how you are doing) is because of the delightful characters I meet on a regular basis. They fall into five categories:

1.) Teenagers who dress like Lady Gaga’s Texan cousin and steal
2.) Twenty-something hipsters who make fun of hipsters and then buy fanny packs
3.) Thirty-somethings who brunch and get drunk off Mimosas, then stumble out of the dressing room naked shouting to anyone who will listen, “Does thisss loook good on mee?”
4.) Forty-somethings who buy only yoga pants and quietly and rightfully judge us while having (more…)
March 3, 2010 by