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Writing

One Day When I Finish My Screenplay…

…This is who I’m going to cast.

(I have yet to write said screenplay, so, I guess…umm….we’ll have to make up the characters RIGHT NOW!)
“Steinbergs in Space”

“Mervin Steinberg” played by Rick Moranis.
Bumbling, nerdy father who also happens to be an astronaut stricken with Tourettes.
I’ve had a crush on Moranis since I first saw GHOSTBUSTERS when I was four (that’s actually a lie, my first crush was Egon Spangler, but as I got older, it shifted to Louis Tully). In my mind, Moranis has created some of the most memorable characters in contemporary film- Bob McKenzie, Louis Tully, Seymour Krelborn, and Dark Helmut (lest I forget Barry Nye, Barney Coopersmith, and Wayne Szalinski as well). This Canadian comedian has done it all; rock DJ, sketch comedy actor, country singer, single Dad. Moranis has kept his career pretty low key since the passing of his wife in 1991.

In 1998, I legally changed my name to Lauren Moranis.

“Janice Steinberg” played by Deborah Foreman
Hot Mom married to Mervin. (more…)
February 2, 2010 by
Writing

Style- Manhattan 1980

As a kid growing up in Upstate New York, there was only one place to go after high school.

New York City.
No other place mattered.
And only one time period ever existed really.

TV Party still, Polaroid by Maripol

Deborah Harry and Glenn O’Brien, maybe on the set of “TV Party”?

Deborah Harry, Polaroid by Maripol

Bettie Ringma (98Bowery project), Nancy Spungen, and Sable Starr at CBGBs
Bettie Ringma and David Byrne at CBGB’s

Talking Heads

Edie Sedgwick photobooth, portrait by Gerard Melanga

Jean-Michel Basquiat, Polaroid by Andy Warhol

Keith Haring

Klaus Nomi, Christopher Parker, and Jim Jarmusch, photo by David Godlis
Richard Hell at CBGB’s, photo by David Godlis

Richard Avedon, self-portrait

Michael Auder and Viva Superstar, photographed by Richard Avedon

Truman Capote, portrait by Andy Warhol

Andy Warhol, self-portrait
February 1, 2010 by
Writing

Vintage Clothing Handsome Dad Toe Sucking

Here is another reason why Austin is way cooler than your city.

We like to wear each other’s clothing.
It‘s true.

You will not come across a more happy recycling city than Austin.
Well, maybe Portland.
But who wants to live in Portland?
Nobody.
Though the two cities are almost identical- rent and population about the same, both are excellent bike cities, both use the motto, “Keep (Insert City Here) Weird”, Austin has a substantially lower unemployment rate (6.9 vs. 10.8).
And the hipsters are more friendly and tolerable here. We actually smile.

This Saturday one of our favorite local bloggers, Austin Eavesdropper, is hosting the first ever Rock N’ Swap at the Beauty Bar 6-10PM. Bring 10 items to swap or $5 to get in. You’ll be able to rummage through everyone’s clothing with one hand, while nestling a free rum cocktail in the other. There will be music and cupcakes as well.

RSVP here
_________________________________

So the old man is in town this weekend, which means we will be mistaken time and (more…)

January 29, 2010 by
Writing

Thunder Only Happens When It’s Raining

My mother was peeking out the window, holding the curtain in a death grip.

A rumble of thunder and she quickly let go.

“Lauren! Quick! Turn on the weather channel!”

She had already turned off the lights, lit candles, and stocked food. We were prepared for the worse.

“What are they saying? WHAT ARE THEY SAYING??” she yelled.

“That there is a severe thunderstorm watch 20 miles away from here.”

“That’s it! Everyone down in the basement.”

My mother scooped me up and dragged me downstairs, leaving my school friend Matt sitting on the couch confused.

She planted me on the basement couch and waved her finger in front of my face.

“Don’t move. Don’t go near the windows. Just don’t move. Where is Matthew?”

“He’s still upstairs Mom.”
“Dear Lord.”

We heard a muffled voice calling from upstairs.

“Hey Ms. Modery,” Matt shouted from the top of the stairs, “Um, if you guys are going to stay in the basement, I think I’m just going to walk home.”

My mother flattened herself up against the basement wall and slowly felt (more…)

January 28, 2010 by
Writing

Music- Wolf Gang (A Band I Really Want to See at SXSW)

Forget that this British band’s name is Wolf Gang. Forget that there are four hundred other bands with the word “wolf” in it or that Phoenix’s last album was titled “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”.

‘Cause this guy is really good.
Like makes me feel like I’m the subject of a Bret Easton Ellis novel, watching the sun go down in Santa Monica with my Wayfarers on good.
This single has car commercial/episode of ‘Gossip Girl’/played on American Apparel’s Viva Radio written all over it. I have a feeling he’s going to be big over here in America.
Perfect blend of British 80’s synth pop and LA indie scene.

You can hear more music here.

Check out the video for “The King And All of His Men”.


January 27, 2010 by
Austin

Yes, I like karaoke. AND YES, I’M PROUD OF IT!

One of the many reasons why Austin is much cooler than your city, is that it boasts a karaoke tournament.
That’s right.
This isn’t just any ol’ karaoke tournament. It’s the f’ing National Karaoke League.
And you’re talking to one of the champions right here.
Yep.
Team Steve Perry’s Excellent Adventure.
In last year’s tournament, we went from being in last place to winning the entire championship in one evening, much to the other teams dismay.
It was like a scene out of any formulaic 80’s comedy. We were the nerdy team, the underdog, the John Cusack that rallied against the bullies, the dudes with the polo shirts and perfectly coiffed blonde hair, the James Spaders. 
I took off my pants, Nolan ripped off his shirt, a girl fell and hit her head. 
It was the evening of all evenings.
After competing in yet another round of competition on Sunday (where we happily and willing lost to a drag queen), we’ve decided to get the team back together. This (more…)
January 27, 2010 by
Austin

SXSW 2010 Music Call Sheet (Halfway Through)

SXSW 2010 Music Call Sheet Continued….

Worst Band Name To Google:
Aa (Brooklyn)- Try finding their website!

Cause Everything is Better in Iceland:
Olof Arnalds (Iceland)- ‘Cause she looks and sounds like a little Icelandic Pixie

Someone I Think I’d Like to See:
A Shoreline Dream (Denver)- Nice shoegazey band that gets extra points ’cause their Myspace status says “Dreaming of Austin” and they seem to really really like Radiohead.
Break of Reality (NYC) Their stuff sounds like it should have been in “Last Temptation of Christ”. Peter Gabriel approved!
Dappled Cities (Sydney)- They really sound like every other indie rock band, but I like it!
Michael Feinberg (NYC) Not sure which I love more, the NY Jewish accountant-like name or the sweet jazz that comes from his fingertips.
Malente (Germany)- FUNK IN THE JUNK!

Best Voice:
Male- Contra Coup (Austin)- If Danny Elfman and Antony Hegarty had a baby.
Female- Julie Peel  (Montreal)- (more…)

January 26, 2010 by
Austin

SXSW 2010 Music Call Sheet

Austin’s South by Southwest is rapidly approaching (Mar. 12th-21st). I am making a vow to not do what I did last year, which was not go to a single event and sit in the corner and pout and mumble about how much I hate a festival that I’ve never even gone to.
There was really no call for it.
I was just bitter that I had to work the entire week and it would take me three times as long to drive anywhere. GO BACK TO L.A!

This year I will see shows if it kills me (fast forward to me sitting home alone on the couch with a tub of peanut butter).

Here is a list of some of the music acts this year. I’m still learning the list myself so there will be more to come.

Bands You Have Heard Of:
Neon Indian
Fool’s Gold
The Crystal Method
Robyn Hitchcock
Deer Tick
The Boxer Rebellion
We Are Scientists
Acid Mothers Temple & The Melting Paraiso UFO

Best Band Name of a Band I’ve Never Heard Of:
And So I Watch You From Afar
I Fight Dragons
Hot Panda
Bastard Child Death Cult

Austin Bands You MUST Check Out:
Suzanna Choffel – (more…)

January 25, 2010 by
Writing

Lunar Park Slope Pt. 3



I’m still crouching like an idiot underneath my desk waiting for Rob to walk in on his surprise party. After about five minutes of impatiently waiting, I shout out, “Where the fuck is Rob?”

“I’m right here!” A familiar voice says and with that, everyone kind of  stands up and mumbles something that sounds like “Surprise!” and I manage to knock over my coffee and spill it all over my computer keyboard, on my skirt, and over Rob’s CD. I start screaming and swearing and everyone runs over to see what’s going on with me and leaves Rob standing in the doorway, his surprise party blue-balled by me.

He walks over to my cubicle and offers to help me clean up. I shove his mixed CD in his hands and he says, “That’s the third keyboard you’ve gone through this year. No more.”

Chapter 2

I have to say that the cookies were pretty damn good. There was an even amount to go around, but I managed to snag two at a time while everyone was more concerned with Rob’s gift unwrapping. I managed (more…)

January 22, 2010 by
Writing

TV- Jersey Shore Ends, Life Continues On

“I watch it for it’s unique commentary on the current youth culture, particularly that of Italian-Americans born in and around New York City. The show is relevant because it reveals the overindulgence tendencies by the parents of Generation Y. Theses tendencies bring out primal emotions and behavior in their children and if you substitute the nail salon fingernails and big hair with claws and fur, you have yourself a show on Animal Planet”.

This is what I have to say to people when they ask me why in hell I enjoy watching MTV’s “Jersey Shore“.

Even then they don’t buy it because I’m spewing jibberish I learned in film school out of my mouth…. AND I MEAN JIBBERISH! (using the phrase “culturally relevant” over and over on film theory papers will always get you an A).

Why I watch “Jersey Shore” is a good question. Maybe it’s because I like the drama; a Pollack piece of Bumpits, Affliction, and tanning oil. Or maybe it’s because I myself used to vacation at the Jersey Shore as a child.

Yes, it’s (more…)
January 21, 2010 by