I decided not to go to Europe.
It was a tough decision to make, but the only affordable option I had was to go next week for a few days capped by 25+ hour travel days. Thinking about that made my head spin. The only reason why I would go is because I want to see Geoff. I miss him terribly. A couple of days in Europe is no way to see Europe. I will get to Europe one day when I have the money and the time and the travel partner.
I was very disappointed in myself for not being more “spontaneous” and just going to Europe, but compounded by my fear of flying, the whole situation was making my anxiety debilitating. As I get older, I’m learning what makes me comfortable and what doesn’t. I’m also learning when I’m just being a big pussy. It’s a hard thing to admit when you’ve always thought of yourself as an adventurous person. Compared to my boyfriend, I’m not adventurous. He will go swim with sharks, climb suicide cliffs and get purposely lost in extreme natural settings. I feel the (more…)