Dear David Bowie’s Crotch,
What can I say, man? Wow. You’ve haunted me since I was five. I think you’ve kind of terrorized everyone for a long time. You’ve captured the attention of many nations and not let go. There is a remote village in Africa where they worship your likeness in a potato that a small child had dug from the Earth. The potato now sits on a makeshift shrine in the center of the village. The inhabitants look to you to converse with the rain gods when they’re going through a drought, but your potato does nothing but sit there and mock them.
Is that right?
Is it fair that you tease people with the idea that you hold magic powers within you? Is it fair that you drift through people’s dreams, standing dormant then uncoiling towards them like a violent snake? I don’t think so, man.
It’s time to let people go.
It’s time to go back to where you once belonged. I’m not really sure where that is, but, yeah, you go now.
Bye.
I guess what has concerned me all these (more…)