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Don’t Eat Discounted Fiber Pills While at a Film Festival

Last weekend, we were fortunate enough to screen our film Loves Her Gun at the Oak Cliff Film Festival.

Oak Cliff is a vibrant neighborhood in Downtown Dallas, bubbling with creativity and conversation (i.e. Hipster Central).

Of course, I fell in love with it.

What makes Oak Cliff appealing is that it still appears to be a harmonious marriage of old and new. An explosion of expensive restaurants and condos has yet to happen, and the creative folks that are coming into the neighborhood are adapting old, historic buildings into innovative community spaces. We spent the majority of our stay at the historic Texas Theatre, where Lee Harvey Oswald was apprehended, and is now owned by four young men who offer themed screenings and blockbuster events much like the Alamo Drafthouse.

Our carload to Dallas from Austin included me (the writer), Geoff (the director), Amy (the DP) and Jennymarie (the actress). On our way out of town, we stopped at Walgreens to pick up Geoff’s ‘roids (he (more…)

June 17, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

On Turning 30: It’s Not as Scary as You Think

source

Today I turn thirty.

Wow.

I never imagined this day would come (I said this exact sentence while watching the series finale of The X-files).

We would stay dirty, stinky kids forever, right?

Thirty just seemed so unthinkable, so impossible. Didn’t life just stop at 27, like it did for Jimi, Jim and Janis?

I didn’t plan for a life after thirty. Thirty meant homes and marriage and babies and none of those things ever resonated with me. I’m an only child of divorced parents who always wanted to work in Hollywood, so needless to say, a life of solitary seemed like the direction I was headed in. And for awhile, I was very much alone. For the first half of my twenties, I was glued to my career, and was existentially lost and angry. My career as a personal assistant was not the right fit for me, but I was determined to make it work- at the costs of friendships and my mental health. I was a mess, getting drunk alone at night in order to deal with my confusion, blowing off (more…)

June 12, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Quit Squeezing Your Boobies: A Lesson In Managing Anxiety

image via

My anxieties are reaching an all-time high lately, I thought as my doctor scolded me for touching my boobies too much.

“Quit squeezing your boobs!” is what she said, actually.

I had scrambled to the doctors after I became convinced that one boob was firmer than the other, thus meaning that a giant tumor was taking over the right side of my body. In fact, I’ve been having muscle issues on my entire right side for months now, and instead of being logical about it (the right side of my body is my mouse hand and I spend over 4-8 consecutive hours on my computer a day), I constantly dwell on the idea that I have side cancer.

I’ll refrain from getting into details on my boob-squeezing obsession, but I will say this: boob-squeezing is a slippery slope. If you think there is something wrong with your boobs and you constantly squeeze your boobs to see if something is wrong, then your boobs are going to hurt and then you’ll REALLY think something is wrong with them.

*Side (more…)

June 6, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

Home Is Where I Want to Be

…pick me up and turn me ’round.

Where is home?

Is it the house you grew up in? The house you shared with your parents and siblings and where so many beloved memories rest?

Is home the apartment you share with your partner? Your dog? Your friend? The place where you come home to after work, cook yourself a meal and stumble back to after a night out?

Or is home the place you created with your own spouse and children? The place you put so much time, money and energy into being safe, comfortable and loving.

Can you have multiple homes? Like the saying says, can home be wherever you want it to be?

I ask myself this question every time I fly back to Central New York, where I grew up, and every time I fly back to Austin, where I currently live.

And I can never find the answer.

fresh eggs from my child-hood friend Dan, the urban farmer

outside Moosewood Restaurant in Ithaca, NY

Eat your veggies!

Mom and Geoff at Watkin’s Glen, NY

Our first trip (more…)

June 4, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

Evidence That I Was an Insanely Nerdy 13 Year-Old

Have you ever come across a list of future goals you created as a child and realize that you’ve failed miserably at life? I’m back home visiting in Central New York and discovered that my Mom framed my life failings in a scrapbook. The goal list below I created at 13 years of age as I was going through a painfully embarrassing X-files and Elton John obsession (painful = alienated friends and loved ones).

Sadly, I can only say that I’ve succeed in accomplishing goals #1 (David Duchovny), #2 (emails count, right?), #3 (Loves Her Gun), #9 (can I swap this out for the SAG Awards?) and #10 (Vancouver).

I’ve written out my goals below in case you get lost once my ADD kicked in and I got bored in filling in the rest of the list with color. I’ve also left my typos and punctuations errors in all their teenage glory.

What were your prepubescent goals?

1.) Meet Elton, David (Duchovny), Gillian (Anderson), Chris (Carter) Etc.

2.) Write letters to over 700 people.

3.) Make a movie.

4.) (more…)

May 29, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Austin, Pop Culture

The Night I Played Bingo For the First Time and Realized I Was a Giant Pussy

Guys, I played grownup bingo for the first time yesterday and it hurt.

Grownup bingo is not for pussies, but as I learned yesterday, I’m one giant pussy.

It takes a brave man or woman to sit in such a high-stress environment surrounded by dialogue boxes of smoke and florescent lights loaned from UT’s football stadium.

If you’re unfamiliar with how grownup bingo works, I will give you the lowdown. I’m going to give you the lowdown through the eyes of a 7 year-old because that’s how I felt yesterday (and I’m feeling lazy today): we were in this BIG pink room in parking lot near the highway and there were all these tables filled with people smoking cigarettes with these big, metal balloons next to them (the 29 year-old in me will translate that to “oxygen tanks”). We bought bingo sheets and some of us even bought these little computer thingies that help you mark your bingo cards. I bought a bingo marker with a shiny blue top! I also bought two bingo sheets which meant I had to (more…)

May 17, 2013 by hipstercrite

Music, Pop Culture

Who is Your Creative Idol?

I’d like to wish a very happy birthday to my creative idol.

Since I was sixteen years old, David Byrne has been my guiding light for creativity.

I first fell in awe when I watched the 15th anniversary DVD release of Stop Making Sense. Seeing him choreographically stumble at the end of “Psycho Killer” absolutely blew my teenage mind. I had never seen anything like it and I vowed that I would always approach art with such fearlessness (I haven’t always succeeded, but I continue to use this day as inspiration). Whether it’s music, film, art or literature, Byrne can’t stop creating, and the beauty of his work is that it’s not always great. Regardless of the hits or misses, Byrne will never give up. A rule that every artist should live by.

Like many wistful children from small towns, I often dreamt about a life in 70s and 80s East Village, New York City. I became enamored with the musicians and artists that came out of the scene: Talking Heads, Andy Warhol, Patti Smith, Basquiat, (more…)

May 14, 2013 by hipstercrite

Hipstercrite Life

Always Remember: Life Really Isn’t That Bad

Are you one of those people that when strangers ask you how life is you draw a complete blank, figuring that life has become so monotonous nothing is worth talking about? You stand there with the faintest bit of drool trickling out of the corner of your mouth and begin zoning in on squirrels playing over the question asker’s shoulder? It physically hurts to think about and articulate the happenings in your life. That physical pain and frustration turns to rage and you begin growling at the person; they run off and you’re left staring into a gaping void known as your life.

Or when a true friend asks you how life is, you scramble to find something to gripe about because you have no idea why? Instead of saying “LIFE IS GRAND!” (which it is) to the question of your well being, you respond with, “Eh, I’m ok. Yeah, just ok. I’m fairly certain the right side of my body is dying with more speed than the left and I’m not sure I ever want to get married or have babies- unless they help drive (more…)

May 13, 2013 by hipstercrite

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

A Letter to My 20 Year-Old Dumbass Self: I’m Glad You Made Mistakes

(girl, lemme get you some eye makeup remover)

Dear Lauren,

Whoa, girl, whoa.

Hold onto your still firm butt (bitch!)- it’s about to get all kinds of shitty in here.

You’re excited right now. Excited to begin your adult life in Hollywood, the place you dreamed of going to as a child, but boy oh boy, are you going to feel like the essence of canine fecal matter on the bottom of someone’s shoe very soon.

Your twenties are going to feel like those old wooden roller coaster rides that make you both mentally and psychically ill.

Am I going to throw up? Did someone just throw up on me? Did I just break a rib from being tossed into the side of this rickety coaster car? Will my fate play out like Fabio with a bird smashing into my face? Am I about to be catapulted hundreds of feet into the air and impaled on the little kids’ swirly cup ride?

Life is full of so many questions right now.

You’re going to spend the first half of your twenties drinking alone in your tiny-ass (more…)

May 6, 2013 by hipstercrite

Pop Culture

Want to Snuggle With All Eleven Doctors? Check Out These Adorable Doctor Who Dolls!

I never would have imagined in a million years that I would become a Doctor Who fan, but here I am, sitting here like a friggin’ monkey banging on my phone, attempting to figure out how to change my cellphone ringer to the TARDIS landing/taking off whoosh noise (update: I successfully figured it out AND added a Baker-era and Tennant-era theme ringtone as well- don’t ask me how I did, I have no idea) .

I’ll be honest- I’m a newbie fan. I recall reading about Doctor Who in the nerdy sci-fi magazines I purchased in the 90s due to my love for The X-files, but I have little experience with the series from 1963-2005 and have only watched the the series pertaining to the Ninth and Tenth Doctors (Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant). And up until last week, I enjoyed Eccleston more than Tennant (which lead to a public shaming from many of my Doctor Who-loving friends). Now that I’ve completed the end of Tennant’s second season, I’ll admit that he appeals to my feminine senses. When Tennant (more…)

May 1, 2013 by hipstercrite

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