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Write a Blog Post or Hunt Down Breakfast Tacos?

photo via Homesick Texan

Write blog post or hunt down breakfast tacos? This is the question I’m currently left grappling with.

Which one will satisfy me the most? Completing my personal goal of blogging daily, a goal I vowed to take seriously, or filling my empty stomach with delicious cheesey-carbohyratey goodness?

I could possibly do both before 12PM, my personal cut off time for submitting a blog post to my blog, but with my frustratingly slow writing execution abilities and that the fact that the closest breakfast taco place is roughly a 15 minute round trip drive from my house, I’m not sure I could satiate both wishes.

Considering I’m writing this now, it appears that I’ve chosen the former desire, writing a blog post, as I’ve decided that my stomach can sustain another hour of being hungry. The weak store brand breakfast blend coffee is helping subside any really longing pains, but the thought of half-soggy, half-crisp tortilla strips jaggedly sticking out of an egg/tomato/cheese (more…)

October 16, 2012 by
20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Do I Want Children? And Other Twenty-Something Questions I’m Afraid to Ask Myself

DEAR GOD!

People havin’ babies.

Babies all over the place.

I guess it’s that time of year; isn’t there a scientific fact that people fornicate more in the winter months? That’s why you don’t see a lot of January-March babies: it’s too f’ing hot in the summer.

“Hey, babe, wanna have S-E-X?”

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WHY DID YOU JUST TOUCH ME?! WHY?! DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S HOTTER THAN SATAN’S ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW?! HAVEN’T YOU FELT SATAN’S ASSHOLE BEFORE?!?!”

Babies weird me out because I’m a.) an only child and b.) a child of divorce. I wasn’t exactly conditioned to have offspring, but as I get older and realize there is a slight chance I could DIE ALONE, the thought of having many, many children to cater to my every beck and call sounds like a solid idea.

My biggest fear- besides getting bitten in the ass by a snake while tubing and separately, developing West Nile Virus-  is ending up like that actress from Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, all mummified for a year before someone (more…)

October 11, 2012 by
Austin, Film, Music, Pop Culture

The Ultimate List of Celebrities Who Live In Or Frequent Austin

A few days back, the Facebooks was a’flitter with news that Nicolas Cage was chowing down at East Austin’s french bistro Justine’s Brasserie. I contemplated heading down there to get a glimpse of the Dazzling One, but figured I would look as creepy as his hairline by doing so. In fact, there was a small part of that was afraid he’d go all Bad Lieutenant 2-style on me if I said hello.

I still haven’t figured out why Nic Cage was in Austin or if he is even still here, hiding behind a dumpster and shouting unintelligible words at homeless people for fun. Theory is he’s in the new Terrence Malick film shooting here (that is every Austinite’s answer for when they spot a celebrity), but I can’t imagine Malick casting someone like Cage for his highly intellectualized dramas. Cage is way too good of an actor for that stuff.

The Cage spotting got me thinking about all the celebrities that live in Austin or enjoy frequenting Austin. There are a slew of them. Some are from the great state of (more…)

October 10, 2012 by
Austin, Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

Adorable Hipster Animal Drawings Illustrate the Hipness of East Austin

Two days ago I was stuffing my pie hole at Another Broken Egg Cafe (if you haven’t been to this one-part indulgent, one-part healthy Southern comfort food spot, it’s worth checking out!) when I noticed a bunch of animals dressed as hipsters on the wall. Of course this would catch my attention. Of course.

How can a bunch of cutesy hipster animals not catch your attention? Huh? HUH?! If they don’t catch your eye, then a piece of you has died!

The collection, done in scratchboard style by a local artist named Janis, is called “Eastside Zoo” in honor of the hipster animals of East Austin. At the Eastside Zoo, we have cats with Texas tattoos, frogs drinking Lone Star and armadillos DJing.

I’d like to think of myself as the raccoon with a flannel.

Reprints of Janis’ work are for sale for $20 on her Etsy page Creative Scratchings.

They’re kind of awesome.

 

October 9, 2012 by
Fashion/Design, Hipstercrite Life

What Happens in New Orleans, Stays in New Orleans

Last week I lost twelve hours of my life. Those twelve hours were spent throwing up what looked like a mangled midget, but was instead jambalaya and one Pat O’Brien’s Hurricane.

I’m not much of a drinker (except for when I was 22 and drank myself to sleep on a regular basis and wrote emo diary entries about how no one loved me), but wanted to participate in the intoxicated fun of New Orleans’ Bourbon Street on my first visit to the magical city with my mother and our friend Margie. Each of us indulged in a Hurricane in the romantic courtyard of Pat O’Briens and enjoyed a pre-Fall evening in the jovial atmosphere of the French Quarter. We got tipsy, but no one was fall down drunk. We come from a lineage of non-drinkers and all my mother can handle is a few sips before falling into a giggle fit, then sleep.

We traversed the relatively tame crowd of Bourbon Street back to our hotel in the Warehouse District. Last week, the city was full of middle-aged men with pot bellies and polo shirts (more…)

October 8, 2012 by
Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture, Travel

How Have I Lived This Long Without Experiencing New Orleans? (pictures)

I cannot articulate in words how I feel about this magical city; the sights and sounds are still sinking into my blood.

I’ll let pictures do the talkin’.

Morgan City, LA flood wall

Muffaletta and jambalaya from Cafe Maspero, New Orleans

French Quarter, New Orleans

Ninja Jesus, New Orleans

Cafe Du Monde beignets are messy  (and good for Hurricane hangovers)

Garden District, New Orleans

Garden District, New Orleans

Lafayette Cemetery No. 1

Lafayette Cemetery No. 1

October 4, 2012 by
Hipstercrite Life, Travel, Writing

How to Travel With Your Mother Without Killing Each Other

Just a dead shark on a forklift

MY MOM IS IN TOWN!

That means a lot of quality mom and daughter bonding time, her telling me I should brush my hair and her telling my boyfriend stories about how I don’t share food.

I love my Mom more than anything. I am her only daughter and she solely raised me, so needless to say we’re very much alike. Due to this fact and the fact that we both come from a long lineage of guilt-inducing Jews, we bicker a lot. I went to therapy to nip the guilt tripping trait in the bud, so when my mother, and especially my grandmother, try to pull it on me, I turn into a raving She-Hulk. When you’re little, you don’t know any better; feeling guilty for absolutely nothing was pounded into my soft skull at a very young age. When you’re older, you realize that normal people don’t say things like, “You think I’m stupid!” when you don’t agree with something they say or, “You must not like spending Christmas-” -we’re religiously inadequate Jews- “-with the family anymore!” (more…)

September 27, 2012 by
Austin, Hipstercrite Life

The Emergency Room is a Scary and Confusing Place at 2AM

“Somebody stabbed me with a screwdriver!”

These words traveled with a ten-person entourage on their way through the ER doors last Friday morning at 2AM.

Geoff and I were at the ER because he had a 103 fever and was coughing up blood.

Not coughing up blood in a Robert Shaw at the end of Jaws when he gets bitten by Jaws kind of way. More of a, Geoff: “Ew, is that blood in my mucus?” and Lauren: “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! WE’RE TAKING YOU TO THE ER RIGHT NOW! NO TIME FOR PANTS!”  kind of way.

You see, Geoff is a wee bit of a hypochondriac (I love you, baby) and I’m a bit of a nervous Jew who is petrified that everyone she loves is dying all of the time.

This combination leads to barely thought-out sprints to the ER, but to our credit, spitting up blood is not something that is normal.

It scared us enough to take him to the ER because that’s the only friggin’ thing open at 2AM.

As though it’s a prerequisite for getting submitted into the ER, we waited our obligatory hour in (more…)

September 25, 2012 by
Austin, Fashion/Design, Hipstercrite Life, Travel

East Austin Named One of America’s Hippest Neighborhoods (pics)

Forbes’ named East Austin the  no. 7 hippest hipster neighborhood in America, beating out other popular spots  such as New Orlean’s Warehouse District and Downtown Portland.

Though there is nothing remotely groundbreaking about this honor, it’s always fun to see our little neighborhood mentioned in the press.

The Armageddon-like proportions of Austin’s allergies are making it difficult for me to walk, let alone think right now, so in lieu of a waxed poem about my beloved neighborhood, I’m going to share with you some of my favorite East Austin photos I’ve taken over the years.

Though I’ve had my ups and downs with the neighborhood, there is no place else I’d rather live in Austin (except for maybe Hyde Park).

 

Selfie at Longbranch Inn on 11th Street

Geoff at Thunderbird Coffee on Manor Road

An adorable (and tasty!) Iced Latte with homemade vanilla syrup from Vintage Heart Coffee on E. 7th Street

Delicious homemade bread bowl soup from Gourmands on Webberville (more…)

September 24, 2012 by