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Austin, Pop Culture

Everything I Know About Wine I Learned From Sideways

 

Tonight I’m nervously speaking at the event, “Georges Duboeuf’s Beaujolais & Burgers: A Night of Perfect Pairing“, with wine writer/entrepreneur Mark Oldman at Parkside.

This should be interesting considering my entire wine knowledge can be traced to the film Sideways.

All I know is that Merlot is wrong. I don’t drink Merlot because Paul Giamatti told me not to.

Truthfully, when I first read the word “Beaujolais”, I thought it was a new clothing boutique on 2nd street.

I can’t act my way out of a paper bag, but I’ve perfected the art of acting like I know a thing or two about wine. If you find yourself at a wine tasting, remember the four S’s:

1.) Swirl

2.) Sniff

3.) Sip

4.) Speculate

The most important part of acting like you know something about wine is the “speculate” part. Furrow your eyebrows and look off into the distance as if deep in thought about what you just drank. If someone asks you want you think about the wine, mumble the words (more…)

20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

It’s Going to Be OK: A Twenty-Something Tale

 

I have a friend in her early twenties who is beautiful, intelligent and very gifted. She’s the sort of person you spot from across the room and think, “Her. She’s the one I want to talk to. There is something special about that one.”

Everyone knows this except her.

She doesn’t believe it.

Right now, she has found herself at a complete loss as to what to do with her life. This confusion has led to a certain amount of paralysis in creating; where do you start when you’re not sure what direction you’re going? This paralysis can often be amplified by a newfound real world insecurity once you begin comparing yourself to your peers and erroneously, people older than you.

When I talk to her, I find myself getting riled up, remembering the days when I felt exactly like her. The words that leave her lips are identical to the ones I found myself saying at 22, 23, 24.

I try so hard not to project my own experiences upon her when conversing, but it is difficult. I want to (more…)

Austin, Film, Pop Culture

Billy Bob Thornton, Won’t You Come Out to Sing?

There are so many reasons why I love Austin and now I have two more to add to the list: 1.) Billy Bob Thornton reportedly moved here and 2.) Club de Ville is trying to coax him out with a Billy Bob Thornton Welcome to ATX Karaoke/Costume Party tonight from 8PM to 2AM.

Not only is Club de Ville trying to bring out the Billy Bob, they’re also going to project his image on a giant wall and hand out BBT masks.

Heart!

Which Billy Bob are you going to dress up as?

Karl from Sling Blade?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Willie from Bad Santa?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ed from The Man Who Wasn’t There?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Davy Crockett from The Alamo?

Or just plain ol’ Billy Bob?

 

Pop Culture

How to Become a Better Humor Writer

I’m not that funny.

I wish I was.

I spent a lot of time meticulously watching the Marx Brothers, Steve Martin, Gene Wilder, Woody Allen, Kids in the Hall and SNL as a kid, but I’m about as funny as a Senate hearing.

I think standout humor is something you can learn, but a lot of people are just naturally gifted (or had a terrible childhood filled with alcoholic fathers and pill-popping mothers that drove them into comedy as a way to mask the pain).

This is why I’m so excited to be taking one of Skillshare’s hybrid classes “Humor Writing: Become the Next David Sedaris” taught by writer Grace Bello (The Atlantic, The Awl, McSweeney’s). The 5-week class starts tonight, but there is still time to enroll. Only $12 to become the literary world’s next former elf-portraying and drug-using 55 year-old neurotic writer who hates Chinese food and has an adorable lisp.

I decided to list some of my own tips on how to write humorously, but it’s up to you if you want to take humor writing (more…)

Fashion/Design, Music

Fashion Friday: Happy Birthday, Amy Winehouse!

Today would have been Amy Winehouse’s 29th birthday.

Though I never took a strong interest in her music or her life, there’s no doubt that she was a falling star that burned through the universe too brightly and exploded into a million little stars into the  great abyss (or insert whatever cliche you want to put there).

She was an anomaly, a slew of contradictions both aesthetically and musically:  a Jewish girl from Britain who sang with guttural and smokey intensity, a cotton candy beehive hairdo and cat eye-wearer who enjoyed the heroin chic look of tank tops, wilted and tattooed arms and missing teeth.

She had the sound of Etta James, the look of Dusty Springfield and the self-destruction of Sid Vicious all rolled into one.

The majority of Winehouse’s pictures circulating the web are images of a sad, dirty and sickly young woman who looked much older than her age. Photoshopped photos emphasizing her cocaine-laced nostrils, her track marks or any other abnormality on her (more…)

Fashion/Design

How to Make Your Trash Can Look Less Ugly With Duct Tape

When you peruse Pinterest or Etsy and come across some glorious creation, do you often think, “Dear God! Everyone is more creative than me! Why do I exist? What have I contributed to mankind?! SOMEONE TELL ME!”

I do. Looking at Pinterest sends me into a tailspin of self-doubt and cheese puff-eating.

Once in awhile I get a bug up my ass to do something creative. Last night I was staring at our tiny and stinking trash can and thought, “You’re ugly, trash can. It’s time to give you a makeover.” I ran out to Target, bought a taller cheap-o trash can with a lid and an assload of Duct Tape. As you may know, Duct Tape has a line of unique colors and patterns now, including a mustache print. Out of fear of making my boyfriend throw up in his mouth every time he passes the trash can, I opted not to put mustaches all over it. Instead, I bought colors that would best compliment the New Mexico-vibe Geoff has going on in his house. Geoff went to college in Santa Fe and holds the wonderfully weird (more…)

Fashion/Design

Fall/Winter Fashion Picks from Alpha Industries

I’m guest blogging over at clothing designer Alpha Industries this week.

My first post is about one of my favorite subjects: ladies wearing men’s clothing!

Below are a couple of my favorite fashion picks at Alpha Industries. So glad it’s becoming the time of year where I can dress like Kurt Russell from the The Thing again.

Alpha Industries boasts some pretty incredible prices for the quality digs they make. If you’re looking for a solid new Fall/Winter coat or just want to dress like  Indiana Jones or a super intelligent dude from NASA, check out these jackets for men and women:

 

 

Ladies Pea Coat in White, $75

Fortress Wool Coat, $75

Ladies Motor Bomber, $180

N-2B Parka, $162

NASA Flight Jacket, $133

 

Austin, Fashion/Design, Pop Culture

Good Grammar is Sexy (And Other Curated Curios for the Curious Consumer)

Hey Gang!

Hope y’all had a wonderful weekend. The weather has finally dropped down in the mid-90s in Austin, which translates to cardigan and scarf-wearing.

Fall is such a magical time of year in Texas. It means rather than finding ways to have as little fabric touching your burning skin as possible, one can start giving a crap about fashion again.

I’ve been perusing some neat-o finds on the new Scoutmob Shoppe to amp up my fall wardrobe and X-mas gift cache for the loved ones.

If you haven’t been to the Scoutmob Shoppe yet, it’s like Fab.com, but ten times better. That gang has some seriously awesome curating going on over there with an emphasis on keep it local.

Check out some of my favorite picks from their shop below!

Also, if you’re an Austin craftsman and you’d be interested in potentially having your products featured on the Scoutmob Shoppe, shoot me a comment down below.

 

Assorted Love Cards, 5- Pack $15

Good Grammar is Sexy Tote, $12

Stache Anything (more…)

Fashion/Design, Film, Music, Pop Culture

Inspiring Late Bloomer Success Stories to Keep You From Giving Up

Inspired! Mesmerized! This is how I felt after putting down Steve Martin’s autobiography Born Standing Up.

I knew it was going to be a good book because Martin is a fantastic writer. Every creative medium he’s ever touched has turned into a golden product. Stand-up, acting, banjo-playing…you name it!

One of my top five favorite books of all time is Martin’s Shopgirl, which for me, perfectly summed up my experiences in Los Angeles. Martin’s uncanny ability to voice the thoughts, feelings and actions of a twenty-something living in LA astounded me. He’s good. Very good.

Born Standing Up is about Martin’s first 30 years on this planet as an adolescent, then as a struggling comedian. He details the painstaking energy and determination it took to break into the scene. He acted at Knott’s Berry Farm, performed stand up at small folks clubs in Southern California and elsewhere, wrote for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour and even appeared on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson several (more…)

20-Something, Austin, Pop Culture

In Defense of the Hipster

My blog’s name is “Hipstercrite”.

I often write about hipsters for my website and others.

Those articles are often my most trafficked.

They’re also the ones that evoke the most wrath.

I can go off about our empathy-challenged Governor or how scared I am of the Republicans, but neither of these subjects compare to the flack I receive for writing about hipsters.

I recently wrote an article for CultureMap about the 10 Most Hipster-Inspired Restaurants, Food Trucks and Bars in Austin“.

It led to a slew of negative comments, though it’s currently one of the site’s most read articles.

My favorite comment being, “The worst part about hipsters is that they’ve led to the existence of Hipstercrite”.

People often comment on how much they dislike hipsters, how hipsters are ruining Austin, how smug hipsters are, etc.

I (not surprisingly) have people that simply won’t read me because of my writing moniker. They make sure to tell me this. They make sure to tell me how stupid (more…)