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Austin

Is It Possible to Turn Into Crazy Cat Lady When You Don’t Have Any Cats?

Duuuuude, I’ve been sick.

Like, non-sexy Barry White sick.

The pros of having a husky voice have been Godzilla’d on by my ridiculous wheeze and old man shuffling around the house.

I feel like poop and I want to write very little other than, “I FEEL LIKE POOP!” over and over.

I try to break up my days by checking out the seven feral kittens that hang out in my neighbor’s yard.

I like to squat down behind the fence and try to coax the baby kitties to come near me. My neighbor doesn’t know she has baby kitties in her yard and I’m waiting for the day when she comes out and sees me creeping around her yard with a shit-eating grin on my face. Wouldn’t be an uncommon thing to see in East Austin.

Needless to say, the baby feral kitties won’t come near me and I leave feeling dejected. Thanks for making me MORE sick, fucking kittens.

Is it possible to turn into the Crazy Cat Lady when you don’t even have any cats?

Geoff and I are going to offer to help catch and neuter/spade (more…)

July 13, 2012 by
20-Something, Austin, Hipstercrite Life, Pop Culture

I love Texas, but why does Rick Perry have to be such a dick?

 

“My state is #50 in health care! Weee!”

 

I promised myself when I went freelance that I would buy health insurance-  and one of those desk chair bicycles so my backside wouldn’t turn into a butt pancake.

Only one of these things I’ve succeeded at.

With the help of a broker, I found the cheapest insurance Blue Cross Blue Shield has to offer and I took it. Knock on wood, I’m a healthy, non-smoking twenty-something so the plan is somewhat reasonable at $117/month, but it definitely adds to the financial pinch each month. Truthfully $117 is all I can afford.

Through reviewing my policy kit and asking questions to my broker, I learned that the plan covers very little. At least I have insurance if a fleet of angry advanced beings from another planet attack.

Yesterday was the first day I put my insurance coverage to the test.

I became sick over the weekend with a high fever, sore throat and questionable delusions. I spent a lot of Friday night dreaming about cheese (more…)

July 11, 2012 by
20-Something, Hipstercrite Life

Why America’s View of Vacation Time is Wrong

A recent photo of the author ecstatic to be at the beach

Last September I went the freelance route.

Though it’s been paved with stomach-churning scares (“what do you mean my check is arriving NEXT week?!”) and painful boredom (“maybe I should drive down to Whole Foods and stare at people”), career-wise, I’ve never been happier.

Though I’m not rollin’ in it, the most joyous attribute of going freelance is the amount of time off I have to travel.

My last 9-5 job gave me 5 vacation days a year. Those five days included sick and personal time. Since the company decided to place their business almost an hour outside of Austin, that meant one had to add two extra hours of drive time for a doctor’s or DMV appointment. Personal errands that you could only attend to during the business work week took almost all day to achieve which meant one less vacation day a year. Needless to say, I never felt encouraged to go to the doctor when I needed to.

We also had no bookend days off on important (more…)

July 5, 2012 by
Music, Pop Culture

Top Ten Songs Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham Wrote About Each Other

I don’t know a lot in this world, but I do know a lot about Fleetwood Mac.

If they offered studies in Fleetwood Mac, I’d have a PhD. I’d wow the living shit out of people on CNN with my insane Fleetwood Mac knowledge.

I spent the majority of my awkward and sweaty prepubescent years fantasizing about Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham getting it on.

I listened to every song one or the other wrote and dissected with great scrutiny the meaning behind each song.

They were my personal soap opera and I couldn’t get enough.

I began thinking about relationships in terms of Stevie and Lindsey.

Relationships must be passionate, dysfunctional and highly inspirational. You must break up with the person but write about them for decades afterwards.

This is what art & love & life are all about, right? RIGHT?!

Even though I was (thankfully) able to move past that idea, I still find myself going on Nicks-Buckingham binges where I gobble up every angst-riddled song and (more…)

July 3, 2012 by
Fashion/Design, Music, Pop Culture

80s Fashion Night: Howard Jones, Less Than Zero and Keytars (pics)

I met my match with Geoff. Never have I met a person who enjoys dressing up as much as I do.

The man has two closets full of costumes.

We will take any excuse to dress up and last night’s excuse was a Howard Jones concert at Austin City Limits.

Who is Howard Jones, you ask?

This awesome dude:

Here is one of HoJo’s most popular songs, “What is Love?” (not to be confused with the Haddaway jam). Trust me, once you hear this song you’ll know what it is. You’ll be all like, “I know that song, but I have no idea who the f Howard Jones is!” It took me two days to stop calling him Howard Johnson.

HoJo has a bunch of other hits that you’ll probably recognize but got confused with Thomas Dolby.

Geoff and I decided to dress 80s last night because it’s our favorite decade.

He wore an 80s New Wave outfit that consists of his original clothes from the 80s and I wore my best Blair in Less Than Zero ensemble.

Sadly, I wasn’t expecting much from the Howard Jones show (we got (more…)

June 29, 2012 by
Austin

In-N-Out Burger is Headed to Austin Area. Who Cares?

photo by Terrapin Trail

When I lived in LA, one of the anomalies I couldn’t wrap my brain around are the ridiculous lines for In-N-Out Burger. Even in a jaded city like Los Angeles, the popularity of the In-N-Out has never waned.

Though I don’t particularly like or dislike In-N-Out Burger, I can tell you I had my certain times of ABSOLUTE HATE when as a personal assistant, I had to wait in the lunch line for an hour just to get a friggin’ cheeseburger and fries for my boss. Nothing feels more awesome than trying to maneuver with 75 other cars in a tiny-ass parking lot off of Sunset Boulevard.

But in case this something you enjoy, Austinites will now have the luxury to FREAK THE F out over In-N-Out Burger in Round Rock.

Eater announced today that reports of In-N-Out hiring a local planning firm to figure out zoning issues has surfaced. Though In-N-Out has not confirmed building a Central Texas location, this looks like good news for people who love it Animal-style in bed.

I (more…)

June 28, 2012 by
Austin, Writing

Austinite Could Face Ten Years in Prison for Photographing Police

It’s fascinating what human cause stories catch like wildfire on social media and which ones do not. Just last week, bullied bus monitor, Karen Klein, received over $650,000 in funds from sympathetic citizens who saw the torturous online video of her being bullied by students. In May, the story of honor student Diane Tran made headlines after a judge ordered her to jail for missing school due to working a full-time job to support her siblings. After enough public outcry, the judge reversed the order. A few months back, here in Austin, the gratuitous shooting by Austin Police of the dog Cisco caught the attention of the world and over 100k likes on Facebook. The social media stir resulted in the APD issuing an apology to Cisco’s owner, Michael Paxton, and policy change within the APD.

Many stories, like the three listed above, really strike through to the heart of humans. An elderly woman being told by kids that she should die? A young woman trying to do the right thing sent to jail? (more…)

June 26, 2012 by
Hipstercrite Life, Writing

Anatomy of Writer’s Block

via Three Hundred Pages

Do you ever find yourself staring blankly at the computer screen with a large and heavy brick sitting smack dead in the middle of your right cerebral cortex?

Of course you do. You’re a writer and writer’s block happens all the time.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck ass any less.

The way writer’s block occurs is different from person to person. When many writers find inspiration from any upheaval in their life, I want to retreat into my head and turn away from anything that resembles a blank computer screen or pen and paper. I need structure and normalcy in my life to feel creative, though out of both those things comes nothing remotely interesting to write about. Only in living life do we truly have fodder worth writing.

Having been interested in creating “stuff” my entire life, I randomly find myself in creative ruts from time to time. It often seems that there is no rhyme or reason to the blockages, but I know that is not true. It takes a lot of (more…)

June 25, 2012 by
Film, Pop Culture

Six Best Christopher Guest Characters

Vulture recently announced that filmmaker/actor Christopher Guest is working on a new sitcom in the same improvised-vein as his previous films. The show, titled Family Tree, stars Chris O’Dowd (Bridesmaids) as he “attempts to track down his real family”. Actor and regular Guest player Jim Piddock will be helping the funny man with this project.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty excited to hear the news. Christopher Guest has been a creative icon of mine since first seeing Waiting for Guffman as a teenager and Chris O’Dowd did a knockout performance in Bridesmaids. Though Guest’s last film, For Your Consideration, seemed to be rock bottom, he can only work his way up from there, right? RIGHT?!

I wanted to take this moment to reflect on some of my favorite Guest characters. The beauty of every Guest character is that you can see a little bit of yourself in all of them. From the blissfully ignorant Libby Mae Brown in Waiting for Guffman to the misunderstood genius-stoner Mitch (more…)

June 22, 2012 by