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Jurassic Park

Film, Pop Culture

How to Be Jeff Goldblum

The other day I thought, “I wish I was Jeff Goldblum.”

I mean, who doesn’t have that thought, right?

Goldblum is gold…and blum.

Translation: Jeff Goldblum is a golden flower.

Everything about him just oozes awkward sexy golden Jew flower man and who doesn’t love that? Who? WHO!? TELL ME!!!

When I watch clips of Jeff Goldblum, I think, “I want to be like that. I want to smirk and fondle the air and sniff people.”

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had a secret quest to turn myself into a middle-aged Jewish man. When I was small, it was Rod Serling and several Marx Brothers. Now, it’s the Blum.

I’ve been a Goldblum fan for a long time. I distinctly recall having a feeling similar to that of climbing the rope in gym class while watching Jeff Goldblum for the first time in Jurassic Park. After that, I ran out and rented every Goldblum movie I could get my grubby little hands on: Vibes, Earth Girls Are Easy, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, Into the Night etc. all (more…)